


Hour Fate

by Kaleidoscope13579



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Study, Denial of Feelings, Developing Relationship, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Happy Ending, Fluff, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, LITERALLY, M/M, Multiple Universes, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Raijin Days, Romance, Slow Burn, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Time Skips, Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It, other canon pairings - Freeform, unexpected time jumps
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:21:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 27,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26688835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaleidoscope13579/pseuds/Kaleidoscope13579
Summary: When Izaya woke up…He finds himself returning to the past on the day he met Heiwajima Shizuo for the first time. Not wanting to repeat their first day of mutual hatred, Izaya tries a different tactic to approach the Monster of Ikebukuro. However, the consequences are more than he bargains for when he returns to the present times and the relationship between him and Shizuo have changed. Izaya realizes he can’t play with fate.
Relationships: Heiwajima Shizuo/Orihara Izaya, Kishitani Shinra/Celty Sturluson
Comments: 81
Kudos: 301





	1. A Realistic Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you for coming on this journey with me! I'm really excited for this because unlike any of my other fics, I have been planning and outlining this story for 4 YEARS! (Granted, I fell out of Shizaya, move to other stuff, and got writer's block so that's why it took 4 years, but I'm back in!) I am determined to finish a multiple chapter fic in my life! 
> 
> This was inspired by the anime, Erased and the game, Life is Strange. However, it has my own twists which could possibly make this confusing so bare with me. The premise is imagine I took first season Izaya and threw him into my story. So yes, this Izaya does not know what happens in the second seasons.

When Izaya woke up…

...He found himself in an odd yet familiar room. Sitting upright from the bed, he examined the room. It was technically his bedroom, but not his current one. It was smaller and more homely than his present one that looked like a magazine cover of a sleek modern bedroom design. The room he was in shared similarities to his current one that he should be in. The walls were bare, no posters or pictures were hung to give it personality. His bed was in the middle with a nightstand. His current one had two. There was a clean desk nearby. His current desk would have been in his living room. 

Izaya was surprised and confused. He hasn’t been in this room for years after he moved out. It was suspicious. He was pretty sure that his parents’ house was sold to another family after his sisters moved out. The questions ran through his head. _Why am I here? How did I even get here?_

He didn’t have time to question everything before his door swung open. Izaya was greeted by a sight he never thought he would see again. It was his sisters, but they looked much younger and smaller than the last time he saw them. Their hairs were the same length and Mairu wasn’t wearing glasses. 

“Get up, Iza-nii!” Mairu’s squeaky voice shrilled. “Make us breakfast! We’re hungry!” To emphasize, she rubbed her stomach with a pained expression while Kururi followed her gestures with a blank look. 

Izaya, still in a confused daze, nodded. His mouth automatically replied, “just... go downstairs. I’ll be there.”

Mairu stuck her tongue out. “Hurry up or we’ll be late for school!” 

The word school struck him. He ignored the pitter-patter feet scampering away. When Izaya surveyed around, his eyes caught his old black and red uniform hung on a chair near his old desk. Instinctively, he decided to get up and walked over to it. His fingers smoothed over fabric. The texture felt soft and familiar. It was clean with no stretches or loose threads from the years he ran in it, escaping from some wild beast. His eyes roamed to his organized desk and saw a calendar with some of the days marked out. Izaya couldn’t believe it. The calendar showed it was April with the year being around the time he should be in high school. According to the calendar marked in his own handwriting, it was the year when he first entered Raijin Academy and today was apparently his first day. 

_That’s impossible unless…_ Izaya skimmed around the room and resorted to search in his uniform’s pockets. He found the blade he carried ever since the middle school incident. Upon its reflection, he could tell that his face seemed slightly younger. When he massaged his cheeks to feel if it was real, the reflection mirrored him. 

_Is this a dream? It feels very realistic._ Izaya pondered with a finger to his chin. 

He concluded it had to be a dream. It was the only logical explanation he could think of despite everything feeling too realistic. If it was a prank, everything was too cunningly and creepily precise. It also wouldn’t logically explain how his sisters were exactly what they used to be when they were kids unless someone found extremely talented child actors. It couldn’t explain his young appearance either unless every reflective surface was a trick. Everything around him felt like it was pulled out of his memory. 

He thought about how he might be trapped in some virtual simulation. He felt around his face to pull off some VR helmet that might be attached around his head or any wires hooked up to his body. He felt nothing. So the only options were that he was in a dreamlike state and would need to wake up soon. 

However, he could enjoy this moment while he can. Since he was here, he might as well divulge into the memory of his first day of high school. Except this time he could do things rather differently. Living out the same thing would be boring. He studied the blade in his hand and his reflection smiled fondly at him. _This could be fun._

  
  
  
  


The walk to school was a literal trip down memory lane. For a dream, Izaya was surprised that he remembered every detail of his first day. The sight of light cherry blossoms was fluttering in the air. The air was cool and crisp yet the sun gave a warm gentle touch. He arrived at Raijin’s entrance, seeing a banner surrounded by a flowery border. The building was detailed exactly like the academy was before the merge and new renovations. There were fewer buildings than the current times. The walls were well intact and the windows were wiped clean, almost white from the sunlight. Izaya grinned to see the school and all of its perfect glory before the so-called dark period emerged because of the man himself. 

Izaya was one of the first to arrive. He remembered he wanted to scope the school out before the ceremony started. He also wanted to find the best spot where he could view all the new coming students. That - or rather this - was also the day he made eye contact with…

It didn’t matter anymore. Izaya didn’t feel like repeating his first day the same way he did many years ago. It was too predictable. Since this was his dream, he already made up his mind to change things around for fun. 

Instead of observing his humans on the upper floors of the school, Izaya joined the crowd that matched through the gates. He spotted a familiar figure in a black uniform like his. Upon seeing that student, Izaya also noticed a blonde head standing out like a sore thumb in the crowd. He smirked to himself. Everything played out exactly as it did at the entrance ceremony. The same boring speeches from the principal, new teachers, and class representatives. Izaya was surprised that his subconscious even remembered these speeches word for word. After the typical procedure of standing and bowing and filing out in a single line, Izaya tried to recall what would happen after this. This might be the time when he approached him in three… two... one...

“Orihara-kun!” Exactly on cue, Izaya turned to see Shinra greeting him very happily. Although Izaya could tell that Shinra was much younger in appearance, not much had changed about Shinra. If he threw on a lab coat, he would look exactly the same as his current self. The only noticeable difference was that Izaya and Shinra were about the same height. “Looks like we’re stuck with each other for another three years.” 

“What a shame,” Izaya joked. 

“By the way, if you have time after this, I want you to meet my other friend. The one from elementary school.” 

_Shizu-chan._

Izaya remembered how he delayed meeting with Shizuo right away and preferred to wait a little longer some time in the early evening when the sunset glowed. That was the time Shizuo wanted to try getting involved in a club, like the soccer team, but that unfortunately did not go well for him. 

It was definitely a memorable moment for the both of them. It was the day they declared their hatred for one another. Izaya still could not figure out how Shizuo disliked him the first time they met. Maybe it was the way Izaya presented himself or he caught Shizuo at a bad time and certainly in a bad mood because he had beat up the entire soccer team. Nevertheless, it would be pointless to go at each other’s throats this time. Although it would naturally be their fate, it would be too predictable. Izaya was determined to change that, see how things will be different this time. Instead of sneering at Shizuo, Izaya wondered what would happen if he was nice to him. Instead of becoming enemies, what would happen if they were friends. It would be an entertaining experiment for him.

Instead of declining, Izaya smiled. The knife in his pocket felt heavy. “Sure. Let’s go see him right now.”

  
  
  
  


It wasn’t hard to find Shizuo considering he was one of the few blondes at school. Shinra and Izaya both caught him coming out of their homeroom. Upon seeing him, Izaya compared this younger Shizuo to the present times. His hair was slightly shorter at the neck and his chiseled jawline wasn’t prominent yet. 

“Shizuo-kun!” Shinra waved his arm.

Shizuo turned and his eyes narrowed. To whom, Izaya wasn’t sure. He hoped that whatever instinct Shizuo had strangely possessed wouldn’t be able to detect Izaya’s true nature. 

“I want to introduce my friend from middle school, Orihara Izaya. He’s not that good of a person. Maybe I should say he’s a horrible person.”

“You’re so mean, Shinra.” Izaya’s response came automatically before he thought about it. 

“No, I didn’t mean it in a bad way,” Shinra laughed. “And this is Heiwajima Shizuo, my friend from elementary school that almost broke my ulna when I asked to dissect his body for the first time.”

Izaya scoffed, finding out now that Shinra gave the worst introduction about his friends. Nevertheless, he extended a hand out to Shizuo. It was the same hand that was clutching the knife in his pocket. His hand swiftly cut the air as his nails glistened like a blade. He gave his best formal polite smile, the one where he lures unsuspecting people to trust him and make him seem harmless. It was a smile that never reached his eyes. “Nice to meet you,” Izaya paused, “Heiwajima-kun.” The formal name tingled his tongue in an uncomfortable way. 

Shizuo looked over at Izaya’s hand and then back to his face. Izaya smiled wider that his cheeks began to hurt. He never gave this smile to Shizuo before. Shizuo gave no indication of pulling his hands out of his pants pockets. Instead, he walked past Izaya leaving the latter’s hand still waiting.

“Shizuo-kun?” Shinra said. Shizuo did not turn around. He kept walking. Izaya figured that much. He slowly retracted his hand back, shoving it inside his pocket and held onto his knife very tightly. It warmed his hand that was left hanging in the cold air. He glared at Shizuo but the grin never left, wondering where the other was dragging his feet to. Shizuo’s back was hunched over and bare, completely defenseless. It would have been a great opportunity to throw his knife at the unsuspecting target board. Luckily, Izaya had plenty of patience and self control unlike the figure walking away from him and getting smaller with the distance. Nevertheless, it was still too tempting. Shinra pouted and broke Izaya out of his inclinations. “Sorry about that. He’s normally not that quiet.” 

_I know._ Izaya tried to bite back the sarcasm. “It’s alright. He’s probably shy meeting new people.” _That’s far from the case._

“He’s not actually. I wondered what’s wrong with him.” 

Izaya shrugged. “Who knows?” _I do._

“So what do you think of him? It would be great if you two can get along.” Shinra’s eyes held too much optimism. 

_That’s going to be more difficult than I thought._ Izaya’s eyes challenged his with pessimism. He sighed in a fake woefully tone. “It’s hard to tell when he was so quiet, but I would like to be his friend.” Despite the meeting not showing any promises, it was interesting to interact with Shizuo without provoking him. 

“I bet you’re saying that just so you can use him or something.” Shinra didn’t seem to be that bothered if it were true. 

“How mean.” Izaya fought the urge to grin. _Even though you’re right._ “Am I that much of ‘a horrible person’ to you?” 

“Are you that upset that I introduced you like that?” Shinra laughed. 

Izaya also tried to brush it off with a chuckle. On the inside, he wouldn’t admit it. Going back to Shizuo, Izaya felt slightly dissatisfied. Shizuo’s reaction was definitely amusing considering this change of events, but it was still not enough for a good entertainment. Izaya wondered what could possibly be going through Shizuo’s mind when he met Izaya. His expression told one thing, but his logic and reasoning could say another. Izaya hated how Shizuo’s mind worked and he hated how he couldn’t tell what Shizuo was thinking like he could with other people. _It’s because Shizu-chan is a monster,_ he reasoned. 

Shinra and him walked off and caught up to the student dressed similarly to Izaya. The student’s hair was slicked back and wasn’t adorning a beanie like Izaya was used to seeing in the present times. The exchange between them was more pleasant compared to Shizuo’s. The thought alone made Izaya’s thumb rubbed the handle of the knife in his pocket. He liked to believe he still had a chance with Shizuo. 

  
  
  
  


The days moved slower in his dream than he expected. They passed by like he was actually living through it. If it continued any longer, then he would have to believe he was living in the past. However, it was still unbelievable to come to that conclusion. Izaya pushed that thought aside and went on with his current mission. 

Every morning when Shizuo walked into class, Izaya would greet him. He would never bother him in class. He would offer help with notes or small tasks the teacher assigned Shizuo to do. He even made it to whenever he, Shinra, and Shizuo ate lunch together, Izaya would never overstep his boundary. He even offered some of his lunch to Shizuo, but the latter never accepted it. He would respond to Izaya with the cold silent treatment or short responses. Shizuo wasn’t quiet the entire time either, because he still bothered to engage with Shinra and his outrageous conversations. Izaya had also seen Shizuo conversing with Kadota about normal things. Stuff that Izaya didn’t think was important.

And yet Izaya continued to try no matter how frustrating these reactions were. He desperately wanted to call him “Shizu-chan”, but stuck to the foreign feeling of saying “Heiwajima-kun.” It itched his tongue like it was unnatural to say. He never thought how exhausting it was to not poke fun at Shizuo. He missed the way he could rattle Shizuo so easily instead of trying so hard to provoke a different reaction. It would have been so simple to ruin everything with a flick of a knife, but Izaya did his best. The bell rang to signal another failed day, but Izaya didn’t want to give up yet. He tried one last time. 

“Heiwajima-kun.” Shizuo turned to Izaya, getting up from his seat and picking up his book bag. “Going home?” Izaya asked with an innocent tilt of his head. 

“Yeah.”

“Can I walk with you?” Izaya deliberately chose the day where Shinra had cleaning duty. 

Shizuo grimaced. “Why?”

“Why not? I feel like we barely talk so I want to get to know you better.”

Shizuo scoffed, “whatever.” He would object more, but he had a feeling Izaya would be annoyingly persistent. He quickly brushed past Izaya, not caring if he was too fast for him. Izaya skipped forward, trying to keep up with his pace. The knife in his pocket bounced with each step. 

  
  
  
  


The walk was treading on a thin line. Izaya balanced himself on the white street stripes like a trapeze artist on a tightrope. With each sway of his hips, he could feel the knife struggling to stay balanced. He glanced over to Shizuo who was hunched over with his bag slung over his shoulder. Izaya could see how calloused Shizuo’s fingers were from numerous fights. The digits were partially white from gripping the bag’s strap too hard, enough to break the skin of the leather but not his fingers. Izaya hadn’t ever noticed how sturdy Shizuo’s back was. Usually he would have to conceal his presence very well if he wanted to observe Shizuo from afar or it was usually the other who was chasing after his back. The view of Shizuo's back complimented the other's lonesome appearance.

“Today’s lesson was kind of difficult, huh. The teacher should talk a little bit slower.” 

“Hm.” 

Izaya’s eye twitched. “The cafeteria served something interesting. I think it was a roman dish.” 

“Hm.” 

Izaya let out a sharp breath. “Heiwajima-kun, are you interested in joining a club?”

“No,” Shizuo immediately answered. Izaya tried to hide his grin, because he knew particularly why Shizuo didn’t want to join a club. Most clubs had been cautious towards him since the soccer field incident. 

“Why not?”

“Don’t want to.” 

“Is that all?”

“Yeah.”

It fell into silence again. Izaya resisted to form his hands into fists. _Was Shizu-chan always this boring?_ He almost lost his balance. His body tipped over to the side where he had his knife pocketed in. Thankfully he graciously steadied his footing until he stood up straight again. 

“Do you live in the off campus dorms?” 

“No.”

“So you live at home?” 

“Yeah.”

“What’s your home like?”

Silence again. Izaya really wanted to kill Shizuo. His foot had stepped off the white strip, already bored with the balancing act.

“It’s such a nice day outside. The weather is not too bad.” Izaya fought back a sigh of how incredibly boring this conversation was going if he had to resort to talking about the weather. The sunset was blending more with Shizuo’s blonde strands. Like a spotlight, it was blinding to the eyes. Izaya glanced down and started chasing Shizuo's overgrown shadow. He pretended to keep stepping on it, distracted from how the distance between them grew more and more. Shizuo made no sound. Izaya felt irked that Shizuo decided to ignore him. Based off of the previous dead conversations, Shizuo seemed to only respond to questions related to him. 

Izaya attempted that approach again. “So what’s your favorite-”

“You…” Shizuo stopped and faced Izaya. It made the other halt in his tracks. He wondered if Shizuo even remembered his name. The thought irked him more than the cold expression on Shizuo's face. His eyes burned into Izaya’s like he was hoping that small percentage of looks could kill was coming true. Izaya never knew how refreshing it was to see that expression. Shizuo’s tone was laced with suspicion. “Why are you so interested in me?” 

Izaya doesn’t answer right away, startled by the sudden question. He finally got more than three words out of Shizuo, but he never expected that. Izaya hid his hands behind his back and gave a casual shrug. “I just want to be your friend.”

Shizuo’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t believe you.” Shizuo stepped closer to him. His taller height loomed over Izaya. It cast a dark shadow over Izaya’s face. “I don’t like you.” His words puncture every nerve. The air around them turned colder. The tense silence was deafening. 

Izaya should have expected this. He wasn’t sure why he felt so shocked. Yet somehow frustration arose in his chest. All of the effort he maintained only ended up with the same results. He chose the right timing, stayed well behaved, tread carefully, and yet it wasn’t good enough. The façade was like the grin that was slowly breaking across his face. Instead of accepting it like he did in their first meeting, he spoke with cold eyes. “Why?”

“I don’t need a reason. I just don’t like you,” Shizuo said as if it was so simple to understand. To him it was; to Izaya it wasn’t.

It was Izaya’s turn to stay quiet. Shizuo didn’t think it was possible considering he talked too much, but Izaya continued to stare at him with his lips slightly parted. Shizuo didn’t want to wait for a response. He turned around and resumed walking. His footsteps were pounding in Izaya’s ears. The crunch of the rocks beneath Shizuo's feet was becoming relatable to Izaya. That open sturdy back of Shizuo was taunting him. Izaya could feel his veins burned so much that it felt like they were going to burst. 

Izaya muttered in a low voice, "it’s my loss.”

Shizuo turned back again, hearing Izaya’s soft whisper. “Hmm?” He couldn’t see Izaya’s expression. Izaya hung his head down while his bangs covered his eyes. Shizuo thought Izaya was upset. He didn’t think he could offend Izaya or make him feel that way. 

His mouth opened to say anything, but then he heard something snapped. He saw a black blob rushed forward like the wind. He jerked back on instincts and felt a sharp slice across his chest. He gripped his ripped shirt, blood trickling through the gaps of his fingers. Pain scratched at his open wound. It stung more with anger. The heat from the sun boiled his nerves and his instincts became on high alert. He glared at Izaya who was sporting a shiny silver blade in his hand that came out of nowhere. 

“See. This is more fun anyways.” Izaya let out a shaky laugh. From there, he revealed his true face. His eyes sneered up at Shizuo with a grin so manically amused. He flashed his blade proudly between them. The sun gleamed at the tip. Shizuo doesn’t know the meaning behind those words. It didn’t make sense. To him it didn’t; to Izaya it did. Not only was the response so automatic to Izaya, it felt like the words were directed to himself than to Shizuo. 

Shizuo could only glare as they faced each other in a standstill. It was only a matter of time before the chase happened all over again. Before Izaya had led him to a trap that caused him to get hit by a truck. Before gangs he never had met before messed with his peaceful life. Before he realized Izaya was the one behind it. Before he realized their hatred had started for many years to come. Before he realized he made a grave mistake.

That was what Izaya expected. It was only a matter of time before Izaya realized he made his own grave mistake. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me if you spot any mistakes.


	2. A Dream Far Removed from Reality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for everyone leaving me comments of how excited they are from the first chapter! It makes me super happy! I’m sorry I don’t reply to everyone just because I don’t know what else to say other than thank you, but I appreciate every single comment. 
> 
> This is the part where it may seem disappointing because not much has changed in the present, however every chapter has its purpose and Izaya messing up in the first chapter is very important! Including this chapter where he learns a new discovery.

When Izaya woke up…

...He found himself back into his proper room. A beeping alarm on his phone penetrated through his ears. The dim sunlight had cast a shadow over his blinking eyes. He sat upright on his bed, feeling relieved to be welcomed back with familiarity. There was also a lack of enthusiasm to fall right back in the mundane. He stretched his arms outwards and over his head. The bone disks popped and his arms slacked back down. Dark barren walls greeted him. The curtains were blocking the sunlight, giving a dark overcast in his room. Izaya got out of bed and pulled them back in a dramatic fashion. He opened the shades to reveal another bright day. _It really was a dream._

Izaya definitely had doubts about his experience whether it was a dream or not. The longer it continued, the more suspicious he became. He remembered the days he spent in vivid details like it was a new set of memories alongside his original ones. The dream felt too real as it lingered in his mind. But since he was back to reality with no signs of changes, he had to conclude it was just an interesting dream. However, experiencing the past had made him feel more grateful to live in the present. 

He tried to remember what actually happened yesterday. Grabbing his phone to check the day, the memories all came back together. Today marked the end of his underground hiding. It was a few weeks ago that he announced he was going to stay low for a while. Before he could do that, Izaya wanted to go out with a grand finale and that meant messing with Shizuo on the day his brother arrived in Ikebukuro to do a live television program. It was a treat to see Shizuo piece together how Izaya set up the whole thing and his face in pure rage hunting him down. Leaving a trail of their destruction was a reminder to the city that peace didn’t suit its image. The graveyard of signs and other public property was a beautiful memory for Izaya to leave onto Ikebukuro.

He definitely missed the city. Izaya decided to visit it, seeing if it had changed during his absence. 

  
  
  
  


Izaya was fond of Ikebukuro, a city of mystery and drew the most interesting people to its heart. The streets were bustling with his humans, coming in all kinds of shapes, sizes, and colors. The fun was guessing someone’s life from what little information one could gather. The mystery behind a person's wardrobe, behavior, and movements was too intriguing for Izaya. The best part was that people always carried a little secret in their pockets. With a click of a button, one could never tell who was willing to pull a trigger. Izaya supposed that was why he preferred the Dollars because of their colorless affiliation than other gangs. One wouldn’t know who was a Dollar and what their goal was versus color gangs. The unpredictable aspect was something Izaya always loved and enjoyed. Except for one.

Izaya could feel the wind billowing around him had started to change trajectory. There was a low whistle in the air. His nerves pulsated the muscles automatically and screamed for his body to move. He graciously hopped several steps to the sides, bouncing on the balls of his feet. A red vending machine landed skittishly in his previous place. The bending of metal was a warning call for everyone nearby to run away. Izaya, the lone man, stood in his place. He watched as the machine was crushed by the corners when it tumbled on the ground and thrashed onto its back, spinning around and skidding across the streets. Dust clouds assaulted the pavements. Cans and other contents have graciously flown out, enough to leave a trail that matched with tire streaks on the road. One can roll over to peck at Izaya’s toe. He eyed at the crater, deeper than a pothole, in the ground that served as a marker for his near-death grave. 

Blinking slowly, Izaya breathed a sigh through his nose. Lazily turning his head while lifting his mouth in a halfhearted grin, Izaya could see the twisted pole of a street sign waving around first. He wondered if there was a logic behind choosing between a vending machine or a street sign. If vending machines were more for the better probability of hitting the targets since they were massive and heavy, and street signs were more for precise targeting since they were skinny and narrow. Izaya would shrug. He had given up finding any logic when it came to Shizuo. If he had to guess, he supposed it depended on which object was the closest in Shizuo’s range. The debris smoke was thinning out for him to see the assailant marching toward him. Shizuo’s strides were fueled by determination. His face matched the color of the vending machine. 

“Izaya,” Shizuo snarled. He hadn’t raised his voice yet. The low growl of his name, knowing it would amplify later, was enough for Izaya to hear perfectly from the distance.

Shizuo’s expression was always a treat for him to get used to. The furrow creases between Shizuo’s eyes, the twitching of his brows, the snarling bite of his teeth, the veins squeezing his skin, the rise of his Adam’s apple bobbing with every deep low growl, the fiery sparks in his pupils to contradict against the calming blue shades. His hair was tousled from the possibility that he ran all the way to finally catch Izaya.

In no rush, Izaya smoothly pulled out the knife in his pocket. Leisurely flicking it out, the blade had creaked out of its slumber. Shizuo stopped when the knife came out to play again. Nevertheless, there was no hesitation. The anger never left his eyes and neither did the amusement left Izaya’s. They both were mentally counting down to look at each other’s faces, giving the other a chance for any final words. 

_Now, then, shall we begin?_

  
  
  
  


“You finally come out of the dead only to be asking for another death wish,” Shinra joked as he dabbed the cotton against the scuff marks on Izaya’s knuckles. 

“This hardly counts as my fault. I was simply minding my own business this time. That beast attacked me out of nowhere.” Another battle, another regular day. It took hours for Izaya to shake off Shizuo, but at least he had a good exercise for the day. It was to make up for all of his time staying low. 

Shinra’s apartment hadn’t changed much, but Izaya didn’t expect it to since it stayed consistent this way for many years now. If time would change Ikebukuro in new ambiences, he knew that this apartment would always remain the same. Izaya studied the scenario he landed himself in as Shinra applied more antibiotics to his hand. _Just like the first day._ If Izaya didn’t know any better, he would expect Shizuo to come in with tattered clothing and ripping the front door to finish Izaya off.

As if Shinra had miraculously read his mind, the doctor chuckled. “This brings me back to our school days.”

Izaya’s eyebrows rose. “Why the sudden mention?”

“Hmm? Oh!” Shinra closed the first aid box, leaving the tools he used to be properly cleansed later. “I think it’s because I had a dream last night about it.” 

“You too?” Izaya inspected his hand. Shinra used this opportunity to go into the kitchen and pour some tea into two cups. He came back with them on a tray and set it down, offering one cup to Izaya. The other accepted it and leaned back against the couch with a smirk. “What a coincidence. I also had one, except I had more control in my dream.” Shinra chuckled as he expected Izaya would have done such a thing. “What’s the term for that?”

“I think it’s called lucid dreaming,” Shinra said as Izaya nodded in agreement. “So what did you change in your dream? That you finally took over Ikebukuro?” 

Izaya snickered. “I wish,” he said with a glint in his eyes. “No, I was talking about when you introduced me to Shizu-chan. I pretended to be nice to him just so I could be his ‘friend’, but that single-celled protozoan saw right through me.” 

“Sounds like you didn’t changed much.” Shinra had picked up the first aid box and went to store it back in one of the cupboards. He missed the incredulous expression briefly shown on Izaya’s face.

When Shinra came back to grab the rest of the tools, Izaya straightened his posture with a frown. “What?” 

The front door being clicked open made them both turned away from each other. Shinra broke out into a happy smile. He gasped with joy as Celty came into the living room with no signs of exhaustion. She was about to take off her helmet before noticing Izaya. Summoning the pad from her sleeve, she typed a quick greeting to the both of them. Izaya couldn’t get a word in before Shinra completely left his side to express his love and gratitude for Celty just returning home. From the way Shinra gushed over Celty more than Izaya gushed about his humans, he didn’t know how Shinra managed to find praise through the mundane things in life. Celty would return home everyday and yet Shinra could monologue new poetic ways about his love toward Celty, like the way she walked in differently or how her shoulders would slump on a bad day. It was such a thing that Izaya could only imagine Shinra capable of doing. He would find this trait admirable but also foolish. 

Living through the same routine was something Izaya couldn’t find himself dealing with. Speaking of which, it reminded him back to what he was talking about with Shinra. 

“Hang on, Shinra,” Izaya mainly caught Celty’s attention instead, “what do you mean I didn’t changed much?” 

Celty poked at Shinra to face Izaya. “Sorry. What were we talking about again?” Shinra had a daze, confused expression. 

Luckily, Izaya had enough patience to not let it show how much it bothered him that Shinra easily forgot once Celty arrived. “My first meeting with Shizu-chan. You know, the one where you introduced us on a soccer field when he wrecked the sports team. He said he hated me, threw a punch at me, I slashed him, and we chased each other. Remember?” Izaya mocked in a pretentious tone. 

Shinra scrunched his face. “What?” 

Izaya let out an exasperated sigh. He leaned over to pick up his cup of tea. “Nevermind-”

“I didn’t introduce you guys on the soccer field. I think I introduced you guys in a classroom.”

Izaya halted. The heat from his cup was radiating over his lips. If he had drank from it yet, he would have choked. Instead, he stared at the two people with sharp eyes. Shinra was scratching his head looking only at Celty while she tipped her helmet to the side. 

**[I was just talking to Shizuo earlier about this and he said it was a hallway.]**

“Oh, right! Thank you, Celty! I knew I could count on you!” Shinra adored her with a goofy attitude. Celty gave no big reactions, but the slightest movement made it seem like she was flattered at least. 

“What are you both talking about?” Izaya cut through the lovey dovey air between them. “That’s not how Shizu-chan and I met.” 

The air around them suddenly dropped a few degrees down. The air conditioning had sprang back alive as if its job was to fill the tense and confused silence. Shinra and Celty were near the dining room area while Izaya, at a distance, sat alone on the couch in the living room. _Why are they looking at me like I’m the wrong one?_ Izaya knew he was right, but he also recognized that he was losing in a 2 vs 1 battle. 

“Izaya, did Shizuo hit your head too hard?” Shinra asked the most innocent question. He meant no offense, possibly half jokingly too, but it was enough to feel as though Shinra slashed the tea at Izaya’s face. For Celty, it was difficult to interpret her reaction but Izaya could tell she was on Shinra's side.

Setting the cup down on his lap, gently without trying to break, Izaya leaned back in his seat. “Okay, explain to me how our first meeting went,” he said. 

Shinra was hesitant, but only because he was trying to remember everything that happened on their first days together. As he lamented, Izaya kept circling a finger around the rim of the cup, occasionally sipping it too. The times where Shinra reached certain details that were similar to what Izaya ‘dreamt’ about, Izaya would lift the cup to hide his mouth. If Shrina noticed how much Izaya kept skidding his finger against the glass mug, he didn’t mention it. Celty, on the other hand, had made her helmet move slightly down. Izaya’s finger was reflected on her face shield.

As soon as Shinra reached the part where he had patched Izaya and Shizuo together when the two were caught in a scuffle involving a knife and a truck was where Izaya stopped him. Drinking from his cup again, it allowed Izaya a few more seconds to process the new information he learned. 

“What was that about the soccer team? I mean I did remember Shizuo badly injured them before in school, but were you there?” Izaya stayed silent, not wanting to answer yet. 

Finding the need to fill the silence, Celty typed a quick response. **[What were you two talking about before I came in?]**

“Oh,” Shinra exclaimed, “we were talking about controlling dreams.” As if the ceiling lights served as the metaphorically lightbulb above his head, Shinra made a realization. “Are you mixing up your dream with what actually happened?” 

“...Something like that,” Izaya said slowly. A bitter taste was on his tongue, but it wasn’t from the tea. His eyes settled on the coffee table, imagining a puzzle with all of the pieces scattered around. He had an idea of what the picture was like, but he doesn’t know where to begin. It was better to start at the corners.

He went to take another sip of tea, only to find that his cup was nearly empty. Shinra noticed and offered to refill it. He went back into the kitchen to brew a fresh pot while Celty and Izaya remained in the living room. She took a seat on the chair facing across the couch. Izaya stared at her as he rested his cheek on his hand. He was going to start at one corner. “Celty.”

Celty’s shoulders hunched up. Her helmet turned to Izaya. **[Yes?]**

“You said you were talking to Shizu-chan earlier? About our first meeting?” 

**[I just ran into him a moment ago and he wanted to talk. I guess when he saw you, he remembered it too.]**

“What did he say about it?” Her response didn’t come quickly. Celty’s fingers hovered over her PDA. “I mean-” Izaya took a risk trying to connect two pieces together- “I tried to be nice to him on the first day. But he’s the one who told me that he didn’t like me first. What was all that about?”

Celty typed something but deleted it. She showed this to Izaya instead. **[To be honest, I just feel like you were only trying to be nice to him, so you could use him later on.]**

“That’s what I thought too!” Shinra echoed from the kitchen. 

“That’s so mean from the both of you,” Izaya said with no offense in his tone. He knew it was true so there was no point in denying. “But wasn’t it also mean of Shizu-chan to say he didn’t like me when I didn’t do anything to him?”

**[I admit that Shizuo could have given you a chance. However, you are not entirely the victim here. You were the one who slashed him first. So, I can’t be on your side.]**

Izaya almost scoffed. There was no sympathy for him back when Shizuo threw the first punch at him. “So, what did you think I should have done then?” 

**[I don’t know…]** Celty paused in her writing. **[However, Shizuo did tell me how ‘fake’ you were.]**

“Fake,” Izaya repeated sternly.

“I think Shizuo once told me he didn’t like people who use talk to manipulate others and never do anything themselves.” Shinra poured a refill in Izaya’s cup. Shinra lifted an empty mug in the air if Celty wanted any. Of course, she politely declined. Izaya saw no point in asking her since all three of them knew she couldn’t drink. “He also hates people who always lie.” 

Izaya wanted to rebut how Shinra could be described as exactly as the ‘people’ Shizuo claimed to hate and yet the brute was still friends with him. However, he saw how Celty kept shifting between him and Shinra. **[That seems true.]** She only showed her screen to Shinra, making sure Izaya didn’t see what she wrote. Shinra laughed guiltily as he walked back to the living room and gave Izaya his second cup. Instead of taking his previous seat, Shinra grabbed his mug from the table and chose to stand near Celty. He merely sipped his drink.

“Well, maybe things would have worked out if you treated him the same way you treated me in middle school.” For a second, Izaya’s shoulders stiffened. His eyes darted quickly at Celty before eyeing at Shinra, waiting for this explanation to unfold. “You were both pretty apathetic when starting school. I thought maybe your similarities would get along.” 

Izaya curved up one corner of his mouth to disguise the eye twitch. Shinra had insulted two of the dangerous men in Ikebukuro in one sentence whether he knew it or not. “You really think that would have worked, Shinra?” He tried to sound genuine, but it was genuinely sarcastic. 

Shinra shrugged. “It was worth a shot. What do you think, Celty?”

**[I don’t know. Maybe listening to each other’s problems? That’s how we get along.]**

Izaya showed off a doubtful smile. “Well, it’s impossible now. I would have something thrown at me before I could get a casual word out of Shizu-chan.” A notification rang on one of Izaya’s business phones. He checked on it quickly while noticing the time. Izaya had overstayed his welcome for too long. Shinra had made a fleeting guess that it was work related to which Izaya nodded. He downed the rest of his drink and set the cup down. Shinra signaled that he would clean up later. Izaya got up from the couch and smoothed out his clothes. “I suppose it’s time for me to head home. I have a slight headache.” 

“Should I see you off?”

Izaya shook his head. “I can see myself out. Thanks for the usual, Shinra. It was nice chatting with you too, Celty. I’ll be sure to contact you if I have more jobs. Bye-bye!” 

Izaya exited the room with a wave. He didn’t leave in a hurry. His pace was slow and nonchalant. Celty peered over the hallway to see him leaving through the front door. Shinra grabbed Izaya’s cup from the table and put in the sink.

**[Did Izaya seem off to you? He was a little weird… Weirder than normal.]**

“Yeah. I noticed,” Shinra said casually as he filled the used cup with water. The content overfilled the mug, overwhelming it to the brim. Shinra wasn’t worried about it, since he knew it wouldn’t break easily. “But if he doesn’t want to share what’s on his mind, I won’t push him. When he’s ready to say it, he’ll tell me.” 

  
  
  
  
  


It wasn’t a lie when he told Shinra and Celty about his headache. He had been mulling over the pieces to his unsolved puzzle. _Did my dream change reality? Some extreme form of lucid dreaming?_ Izaya wasn’t sure if he had heard any cases like that. _Does that mean whatever dream I have control of will come true?_ _Have I acquired some weird ability?_ The supernatural aspect wouldn’t have surprised Izaya. He was in Ikebukuro after all. The knowledge of the fact that he may have some unnatural power, something beyond human capacity, made him laugh so hard he could throw up. 

To escape the mundane life was to constantly evolve. Whatever reality bending ability he acquired, Izaya needed to adapt or he could lose his mind. That was what Izaya felt experiencing the past all over again. Instead of going through the motions twice, why not choose a different path and see where he could land. There seemed to be no harm, no foul since nothing in the present significantly changed, only the memories of the past. Izaya could feel his mood becoming dangerously high again, finding amusement as he scattered the puzzle pieces around like confetti without completely solving it. There was no need at the moment. 

Taking his mind off of it, Izaya looked up toward the sky. The stars were aligned differently like pieces to form its own complicated jigsaw. He preferred the nightlife better than the daytime anyways. He felt more akin to the dark atmosphere than the bright day. The sun was overbearing and radiated too much heat. No one could stare at the sun long enough before it blinded a person with a punch. At least for the moon, people had a better chance to appreciate its mysterious beauty. The moon knew more secrets than any information broker did. Yet the day still attracted more attention from his humans than the night. They considered the dark to be more dangerous without proper light. 

At least the night still allowed him to blend lovingly into the crowd of his humans. His black attire could let him slip through the shadows better than Celty could. If Izaya could make it to the train station, without running into an annoying interference, it would be a miraculous privilege. Thankfully, he was able to board the train and ventured back to his apartment in Shinjuku. Tomorrow he planned to start up his computer to do proper work. Tonight he would hop into bed without another worry. Perhaps he could put a test to his theory. He would think about the past - in whatever form it was - as the last thing on his mind before closing his eyes and becoming one with the dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me if you spot mistakes. Thanks to DreamWings231 for beta reading even tho she knows nothing about the show (ily) True friend right there.
> 
> Fun fact: She was also the one that came up the title “Hour Fate.” It’s a pun! If you say “hour fate,” it sounds like “our fate” with “hour” being alluded to time traveling.


	3. Black and White with Red

When Izaya woke up…

...The sunlight had poked his eyelids. He squirmed and turned away from it, slinging an arm over his eyes. Sleepiness had escaped his grasp, but tiredness was winning him over to remain in bed a little longer. However, the air in the room felt less ventilated. His stomach formed a bottomless pit, bracing itself for the unexpected. The tapping of the floorboards served as a countdown to the end of his peace. The door swung open at the same time as his eyes and a shrill voice made him jerked up from the bed. 

“Get up, Iza-nii! Make us breakfast! We’re hungry!” Mairu and Kururi held onto their stomachs as Izaya held onto his heart. 

“G-Get out,” Izaya’s voice cracked, however the twins refused to budge. He steadied his breathing and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Just go downstairs. I’ll be there,” he said in a tired voice. Morning weariness was still deep within his tone. His tongue itched at how his response came out thoughtlessly.

Mairu stuck her tongue out _again_. “Hurry up or we’ll be late for school!”

Izaya witnessed their bobbing heads scurrying away this time. He flung the blankets off and hastened to lock the door as if he could keep the truth of this reality at bay. His back hit a nearby wall and slid down. His stomach was folding itself in against the pressure of his position, constantly clenching and churning. It rumbled and soon his shoulders began to shake. Izaya threw his head back against the wall with a thud. It was one thing to want something, but to actually achieve it on a whim was laughable. He laughed so hard that it cleared the hoarseness from his throat. 

_Is this some cruel joke?_ He continued to stare at the ceiling for answers he knew he wouldn’t get. At least not from up there to a god he didn’t believe in. _Retribution? A re-do?_ The sunlight was coming back to poke his face. He shielded himself away from it with one hand hovering his eyes. His hand turned over so that he was gazing at his palm. _I really do have some weird ability._ The problem lied with what it was exactly; how did it activate; how much power did it hold; was it dangerous; what were the extents of the consequences; how much fun could he possibly have; and every other aspect running through his mind. The biggest concern was how much control did he have. He had another chance to figure this out and how to work it in his favor this time. _Can I finally destroy Shizu-chan?_ He grinned as his hand closed in a loose fist. 

Soon he would start the day as normal. Shinra would approach him again with the intention of meeting Shizuo. Izaya would decline because he doesn’t want to go through a rejection for the third time. Instead of joining Shinra at the library like he did in the original meeting, Izaya opted to get some fresh air. The slight headache he felt the night before came back, kicking his mind with a dull ache. 

  
  
  
  
  


Most students didn’t visit the rooftop of Raijin Academy, especially not on the first day. They were busy scoping the classrooms, getting scouted by clubs, finding familiar faces and making new relationships. There was so much to do in the main buildings that students rarely have time to go up to the open grassy area with nothing else interesting to draw them in. Izaya, however, liked the free roaming space since he could watch his humans from a high vantage point. The only complaint he would have is the obstruction of the chain link fences. 

Locking his fingers into the openings, Izaya focused on the soccer field. Other sport teams were normally energetic and made use of their practices. A couple of members from the soccer team were dribbling the ball between their feet and practicing long distance kicks. However, there were others who sat back and lazed around the grass. Eventually, those ones got up and intervened with a fun challenge to see how high they could kick the ball. Izaya carefully observed them because a ball reached so high that it knocked against the fence a few feet away from where he stood. _Impressive_ , he thought without so much of a flinch. If Shizuo had kicked the ball, Izaya would believe it would have drilled a hole through the fence. 

Stepping back from the gated barriers, Izaya shoved his hands in his pocket and walked away. The dull ache in his head hasn’t simmered down so he decided to lay on one of the benches. However, his instincts pulled him away, casually side stepping as a ball bounced from where he stood. _Good grief._ He wouldn’t be able to take a rest without the threat of raining soccer balls. Nevertheless, he smiled amusingly though. Hearing the distant voices down below, Izaya grabbed the ball and threw it over the fence. He decided that the safest place would have to be on top of the roof entrance. Climbing up onto makeshift stairs, Izaya settled over the edge kicking his feet out. He leaned back on his hands and tipped his chin up, closing his eyes to avoid the sun threatening to blind him again. He covered with one hand in the air. 

_What should be my next move?_

The sound of the doors squeaked open. Izaya opened his eyes slowly and peered down but saw nobody lounging around the roof. He could have swore someone opened the door, but they must have turned back seeing how empty it was. He leaned back again, eyelids fluttering shut, until a voice made them fly open again. A familiar voice. 

“Oh.” Izaya whipped around, finding Shizuo dragging his upper body up onto the same level as he was. “I didn’t think anyone would be up here. I came to lie down if you don’t mind.” 

“... Go right ahead,” Izaya eventually said. 

His eyes trailed after Shizuo as the other laid down next to the water tanks, keeping a good distance between them. _So this is where he went to._ Izaya thought back to their previous encounter, wondering where Shizuo disappeared after leaving him hanging. As soon as he heard soft breathing, Izaya gaped upon Shizuo’s resting form. Hands behind his head, eyes closed, body straight, and ankles crossed; Izaya couldn’t believe that Shizuo was unsuspectingly letting his guard down around him. His eyes fell down to Shizuo’s inflating stomach and wondered what would happen if he punctured it like a balloon with his knife. 

Another rattling from the chain link fences broke his thoughts. At this point, Izaya could tell that the soccer members had probably moved their game to see who could hit the ball above the rooftop fence. 

When Izaya’s attention had turned to the multiple balls thrashing against the barrier, Shizuo had also glared in the same direction. The chiming of chains was ruining his peace. Not only that, there was an odd smell in the air the moment he opened the door. It assaulted his nose heavily but he couldn’t pinpoint the source. He did have some suspicions about the boy next to him and from there, Shizuo began to notice other things. Nothing about him stood out. The face was generic, a little more striking than most boys. The hair was also dark as the uniform which was the only thing Shizuo regarded compared to the standard blue color for Raijin. What Shizuo questioned about was that the uniform jacket stopped below the other’s midriff. 

“Annoying,” Shizuo mumbled. 

When Izaya looked back at Shizuo, there was a new crinkle on his red T-shirt. If only the jacket had been the right size, Shizuo wouldn’t have felt irritated that he could spot it. 

“Excuse me,” Izaya asked. Shizuo lifted his eyes back up to Izaya’s. He didn’t like that there was a strange sharpness to them. “It’s not that bad.” Izaya nudged his head toward the clanging of the fence. 

Shizuo had temporarily forgotten all about it and trailed his eyes down to Izaya’s waist. “No, it is.” Izaya scoffed and rolled his eyes, but his reaction made Shizuo grit his teeth. “What’s your name?”

He didn't know why Izaya looked at him surprisingly and took a while to answer back. “...Orihara Izaya,” he paused, “you?” 

It was Shizuo’s turn to be surprised. It had been a while since he personally introduced himself. Usually, his reputation carried his name to everyone’s ears. However, it was good manners to introduce himself back. “Heiwaijima Shizuo.” 

The corner of Izaya’s mouth curled up. Already, Shizuo felt tense. “I know,” Izaya whispered. He only asked for appearance sake, but this interaction was interesting nevertheless. It was better than the ridiculous honesty of Shinra’s introductions. 

Shizuo was about to speak, wanting to know what Izaya said or, if he heard it right, what it meant. All that came out was a “hey” in a warning tone before Shizuo’s upper body jerked up with a finger pointing in the air. 

Izaya turned and saw the circular bullet flying toward him. Like a black and white missile, it was honing on him with a red crosshair targeting his head. Although he saw the danger forward, his body didn’t react violently to it. He could have simply cocked his head to the side and avoided the ball easily. Instead, the hairs on the back of his neck stood up and shivers ran down his spine. His back was screaming at him that he was an open target this time. Inhaling sharply through his nose and stomach clenching in, Izaya jerked his whole upper body to lean harshly on his left side. His eyes widened as he was inches apart from the claws of a beast. His whipped hair had nearly grazed upon the deadly clutches of Shizuo’s hand. Izaya was almost about to curse himself for hypocritically letting his own guard down until the impact of the wind slapped him across the face. A soft gasp escaped as Izaya had taken in the full picture. The soccer ball, once buoyant, had now been deflated into a rubber sack. Shizuo’s nails had barely bit into it and yet all the pressure had exhaled out with a pathetic flatulence. 

“Damn it,” Shizuo grumbled. He gripped the soccer sack in his fist, squeezing more life out of it. Izaya could imagine the white tearing of Shizuo’s skin on his palm, a red strained line on his wrist, chippings from his nails, and any possible pain or injury from catching a ball going a few miles per hour. Shizuo had shown none of it or he was masking it very well with anger. “Those bastards... Ruining my peace like this!” 

The laughter they could both miraculously hear down below was like a taunt for Shizuo to come and get them. Izaya stared ironically at the black and white ball crushed in Shizuo’s hand, imagining how it would be nice if Shizuo could do the same to his own mentality. “Come on. It’s not like they meant to.” 

“I don’t care,” said Shizuo. Izaya huffed with deadpanned eyes but his smile remained the same. He expected Shizuo to storm after them even though the sun hadn’t fallen down yet. Except he sooner believed it would drop and be crushed in the other’s hand like the soccer ball than the words Shizuo said after. “You almost got hurt too.”

The wind brushed their bangs against their faces. Izaya used that as an excuse to why his eyes kept blinking rapidly. He had almost forgotten that this was technically their first meeting and that they were complete strangers to each other, so a taunt was on the tip of his tongue. Had the situation been the same, Izaya would have also laughed maniacally. Instead, he settled for the burning desire to know more. “Why does that matter to you?”

In return, Shizuo also stared at Izaya with a strange and confused look. In all honesty, it didn’t. It made no difference to Shizuo whether this kid that he met got hurt, but if he had to choose between letting the ball hit him or not, he felt it was better not to. Instead of explaining all that to Izaya, Shizuo simply replied, “does it need to? I don’t have to give you a reason.” 

Izaya’s face scrunched up, tasting the sourness of stupidity, as he should have expected this. All he could do was laugh. He threw his head back as Shizuo watched how the Adam’s apple bobbed from Izaya’s throat disturbingly. How forceful Izaya let every breath heaved out of his chest. How his hand slapped his forehead like it was a punishment. Shizuo recoiled back, gripping the ball too hard. “What’s so funny,” he demanded.

The laughter ended on a high whimsical note. “Nothing,” Izaya said with a smirk. Before Shizuo could retort, Izaya turned away and jumped from the ledge. Shizuo watched how the jacket rose up, revealing more creases of the red shirt. Gracefully landing on his feet, Izaya glanced up disliking the angle between them. He was forced to lift his head up instead of looking down upon Shizuo. The urge to cover his eyes came back. The deflated soccer ball was still in Shizuo’s fist. Izaya wondered if it would have been better to get hit by it instead of feeling this indebted sinking in his stomach. 

He pointed at the ball, making Shizuo look down at it. “If you’re going to pick a fight with them, it’s not going to end well for you.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Shizuo barked back. “What do you know?” 

Shizuo grimaced as he remembered what Izaya said earlier before the ball served as a distraction. Judging from his expression, Izaya tossed another satisfied smile before exiting through the door. They both knew that he didn’t need to say anything. 

  
  
  
  
  


Half of the bodies were scattered across the field. The other half remained standing. Contemplation was left in the tense air instead of the confidence that was spewed out moments ago. The soccer team members thought they could outnumber him, but those odds were proven useless now. The better players rushed in first, started out strong, but the formation crumbled. The one man team relied on his only strategy - his strength. The benchwarmers were huddled around Shizuo, sweating more than he was. Red cards were flashing in their minds. 

Shizuo wasn’t out of breath yet. His knuckles were bleeding red. The school jacket hung off his shoulders, ready to be flung at any moment. He dared the rest of the team to come any closer with a nod of his head. Any slight movement would cause Shizuo to grab the nearest goal post and send it to the sunset. Although sweat and blood wafted the breeze, there was another foul stench assaulting his nostrils again. 

Suddenly, the sound of an ambulance was getting louder and louder. It became clear to everyone that the car was approaching the field. Someone yelled a signal for all of them to escape. Even Shizuo knew that he didn’t want to explain the dumb situation to the paramedics so he ran in the opposite direction from the group. 

Running as fast as his legs, his mind began to wonder about the oddities. _Who called the ambulance?!_ The soccer members were out and Shizuo couldn’t recall anyone nearby to speculate the fight. Even still, if something was tailing after him, he didn’t want to bring the trouble back home. He ran to the only place that he didn’t mind bringing it, in addition to getting patched up too. He looked up to remember where the direction to Shinra’s place was when he noticed a black blob had temporarily blocked the sunset. The dark appearance was clashing against the orange sky yet there was a spot of red that blended in. The smell came back to his nose and Shizuo frowned as he could only leave the shadow alone for now. 

On the rooftop, Izaya had clapped for another spectacular performance. Even from a tall height, he laughed at the dumb confusion running over Shizuo’s face. To say that this was better than him slashing Shizuo’s chest and letting a truck catch him off guard would be a lie. Although this was a close second because Izaya still had some sense of control. Stepping back from the gated barriers, Izaya shoved his hands in his pocket - a cold blade in one and a warm phone in the other - and walked away.

  
  
  
  
  


That same day Shizuo had learned all about the weird and mysterious boy named Orihara Izaya from Shinra. He thought Izaya was new to the area because the boy wasn’t cautious of him. To his surprise, Shinra debunked it and even went on about how he told Izaya some of Shizuo’s legendary stories from elementary school. Since Izaya knew about Shizuo already, it made him very suspicious of this Izaya person. Shinra had mentioned Izaya was a bit of a shady person but even Shizuo could tell already without him saying it. He firmly decided on avoiding any interactions with Orihara Izaya.

To his surprise again, Shizuo didn’t have to. Izaya was beating him to the punch. Shizuo hadn’t seen Izaya for the past few days after their first interaction, but he could tell Izaya was lingering around from the smell of the air. Sometimes, Shizuo could spot a dashing black blob around the corners. It annoyed him at first, but ultimately it was what he wished for. By not interacting with Izaya, he could have had a peaceful school life. However, even without seeing Izaya, Shizuo’s life was all but that. Writings and graffiti sprawled on his desk were his greetings in the morning. Hollow words like ‘bastard’ but ones that stung like ‘monster’ were etched into the wood. His books would go missing from his bags, only to find them ripped up in the waste bins. Shizuo had obviously expressed his murderous aura everywhere he walked, vowing to find whoever was responsible and kill them. Unfortunately, he was never quick enough to catch them in the act. A lot of people were smart enough to stay away from him these past days except Shinra. He was aware of what was going on, but neither did he know who was responsible. 

One morning Shizuo and Shinra were at their shoe lockers. Whatever Shinra was babbling about, Shizuo had zoned out and kept thinking about his recent conversation with his younger brother the night before. Kasuka, being observant as always, had noticed how visibly stressed and frustrated Shizuo became more than usual. Shizuo wasn’t trying to be obvious but little annoyances at home, like how the toothpaste wouldn’t squeeze out or if he bumped his elbow accidentally on the counter, would cause Shizuo to unnecessarily rage harder. Having no choice, Shizuo admitted to Kasuka about his recent situation. He didn’t mean to worry his brother with his problems, and certainly didn’t want to bother his parents with the past amount of trouble he caused them before. Kasuka understood and kept it a secret, but he was concerned that if Shizuo found the culprit, his brother would get into a fight again. Although Kasuka doesn’t approve of the bullying, killing someone over it would be terrible. It would be ashamed if Shizuo got expelled within just the first days of his high school life. 

Shizuo kept it in mind, although he couldn’t promise anything once he found whoever was ruining his peace. He did have one primary suspect. It only made sense since Shizuo hadn’t seen him and yet showed up everywhere when he was around.

As Shinra talked more while opening his show locker, Shizuo did the same but a smell putrefied his nose. At first he thought Izaya must be around, but the source came from his shoe locker. Trash, like crumpled paper and rotting fruit, were stuffed inside and stained his school shoes. Shinra peered inside and gave a solemn expression. Shizuo, on the other hand, had made a huge dent in the surrounding shoe lockers with his fist. Shinra had switched his sympathy from Shizuo’s locker to the poor bystanders. 

“This is horrible,” Shinra said as he switched shoes. 

“I’m gonna kill him,” Shizuo growled, “whoever did this, I will kill him.”

“Do you have any clue who’s doing this?”

“No,” Shizuo admitted. He pulled out his indoor shoes carefully and switched over anyways. He chose to store his outdoor shoes in his bag. “It could be that Izaya guy.”

“You think so? How come?”

“I can smell him.” Shizuo’s nose scrunched up in response. “And he’s always around when this happens to me.”

Shinra pursed his lips together in a straight line. “I don’t think Orihara-kun would do this.”

“What?! Weren’t you the one who’s been telling me that he’s the type to sneak around and mess with people?” Shizuo jammed an accusatory finger in the middle of Shinra’s chest. “Are you saying he’s not now?”

“No. I’m saying he’s worse,” Shinra said casually. Shizuo’s eyes widened at the quick rebuttal. He doesn't know whether learning this information was helpful or not. “If Orihara-kun is gonna mess with you, he’ll do it in a big way. Like probably sent gang members after you.” Shinra watched as a banana peeled slipped from Shizuo’s locker. It almost splattered on their shoes. “Not this type of bullying.” 

Shizuo grumbled as he slammed his shoe locker, almost breaking the hinges. He would have to wait until the end of the day, around cleaning duties, to get rid of the trash from his locker. He picked up the banana peel and threw it by a nearby waste bin, because littering was bad. As Shinra followed him absentmindedly, he was stopped by a relentless finger poking his shoulder.

He turned to see a girl looking at him with determined eyes. “Do you want to join the soccer team,” she asked. Her demanding tone made Shizuo stop too.

From her request, Shinra deduced she was the manager of the team. “You must be that desperate in recruiting if you’re asking me.”

“Of course, I am!” Shinra was impressed she didn’t try to deny it. “Half of the team is injured so we won’t be able to play much in the season if we don’t get enough members! I’m really troubled here!”

“Oh, I see. That does make sense.” However, Shinra shrugged. “But I can’t. Sounds too difficult for me and I don’t want to spend too much time away from my beloved.” As Shinra went off in a whimsical tone, the manager grimaced almost regretting that she approached him. He pulled on Shizuo’s jacket to which the other nudged the pinch away. “Hey, Shizuo-kun! Since you’re the reason some of the team ended up in the hospital, shouldn’t you help this poor manager out?” 

“Haah,” Shizuo said more aggressively than he intended to. He narrowed his eyes at the girl who grew wary at the sight of him. But he couldn’t deny that Shinra was right and reflected upon all of the trouble he caused for his family from fighting a lot. “If it can’t be helped,” he sighed and scratched his head.

“No. It’s fine,” the manager said offhandedly. 

“Are you sure?” Shinra asked, confused by the sudden demeanor changed.

She nodded aggressively. “The rest of the team doesn’t like him for what he did. With him joining, there won’t be any team cooperation. I’ll… I can find other people myself.” She whipped around and continued asking other people. 

“She’s pretty fearsome,” said Shinra. 

“Yeah,” Shizuo said absentmindedly. He didn’t take her words to heart. He knew what she said was true. Meanwhile Shinra pondered, but he kept to himself. As they continued to walk to class, he turned around to see if she was still asking around other nearby people. He caught sight of her chatting to the boy they were just talking about. Shinra definitely thought it was a good idea he didn't speak up and went on pretending he didn’t see anything else.

  
  
  
  


Things started to make sense to Shizuo once he ruled out his prime suspect. In all honesty, he should have reached the conclusion sooner before being cornered like this. Lunch had started and he was aimlessly walking around to find another place to nap. His feet couldn’t drag himself up to reach the rooftops, not wanting to feel sick from sniffing the foul stench again. He went behind the main buildings along the empty glassy fields until several footsteps were marching in his ears.

He was surrounded by the soccer members who narrowly escaped his wrath. They were wearing the school uniforms and not in their gym clothes this time, showing off that most of them were second and third years. None of them were carrying weapons, because it was suspicious since it wasn’t after school yet. Some of them were wearing protection gear underneath their clothes however. 

“What do you want,” Shizuo rudely asked. 

“It’s payback time for sending most of the team in the hospital.” The voice belonged to the one in the middle. Nothing set him apart from the rest, neither face nor hair. To Shizuo, everyone looked about the same in their blue uniforms. True to their association to soccer, their faces were pale as white and their hairs were dark as black. 

“Are you the guys that have been messing with me?” Shizuo narrowed his eyes, sizing up how many there were. They all laughed, enough to disrupt an ocean wave. He hated how much people seemed to laugh nowadays instead of answering. He gritted his teeth and pulled his fists out of his pockets.

“So what? You got any proof that we did it?!” 

“Are you gonna beat us up because you think we’re the culprits?!” 

“Who’s gonna believe you?!”

Shizuo had a hard time following who was talking. The voices were swimming around in the crowd, sometimes in the front row or often in the back. What he hated the most was that he could hear them echoing in his head. He knew that the teachers were fed up with him because of his troublesome ways. With the recent bullying, they were concerned but he felt like they probably thought he deserved it. Either way, it was clearly shown how tired they were for dealing with it. 

“You’re nothing but a monster,” one of them shouted.

Shizuo inhaled through his nose and dug his nails into his palms. The pressure was holding him back. 

“You made trouble for everyone around you!” 

“...Your family!”

Shizuo could hear Kasuka’s voice in his head now. Kasuka thought since he was in high school that he could start anew and not get into so many fights like he did in middle school. Shizuo thought the same as he could finally relieve his parents from the stress. 

“And you troubled our manager too!”

Shizuo thought back to the girl. He could admit that his actions had troubled her unnecessarily. If he beat up the rest of the team, he would cause her more problems. It wasn’t fair to her. 

“What do you want from me,” he asked again, but defeatedly. 

“You’re taking responsibility, Heiwajima!” 

Shizuo had no clue what they meant, but whatever it did, his arms fell slacked to his side. His fist reluctantly unclenched, showing the tearing of his skin. The members all grinned. 

“What’s this? Bullying? That’s not cool.” A pretentious voice had boosted above them. All of the soccer players, even Shizuo, craned their head upwards simultaneously to find Izaya perched on a wall, sitting comfortably while swinging his legs. Although they were all surprised, no one was more shocked than Shizuo. His expression was the most amusing to Izaya. 

“Huh?! Who’s this scrawny first-year?!”

“He looks nothing more like a bean sprout!”

They laughed boastfully. Shizuo frowned at them and darted back to the other. He saw how Izaya stretched his smile. His eyes curved to resemble a fox. 

“It’s interesting how you guys mentioned troubling family. I bet most of you are probably living in the shadows of some family expectation to be famous athletes.” The laughing ceased immediately. Shizuo was impressed with how fast it died down. Some of them were gaping like fishes out of the wave. “Maybe some of you are hoping to get noticed by girls, or even hitting on the manager. Speaking of which, it’s quite ironic you guys mentioned her. You say she’s troubled by Shizu...o-kun-” the weird pause made Shizuo scowl. Izaya ran with it smoothly that the others didn’t notice- “but don’t you think your bullying is making things worse? Won’t it cause more trouble for her with what you’re doing?” 

One brave member squawked, “what are you saying?!” 

“At least Shizuo-kun was willing to help out. I have yet to see any of you trying to recruit more members for your missing team.” Izaya lazily circled his finger as if he was trailing the bait. “If you invested this much time in bullying, you should put it to good use for your soccer practices. Instead of blaming others, why not put all that effort into bettering yourselves? It's no wonder girls would prefer Shizuo-kun than you senpais. It makes you look really lame,” he finished with a chuckle. From his obnoxious tone, even Shizuo felt the urge to punch Izaya. He looked back to the soccer members whose faces became more prominent for him to differentiate. In the wave of blue uniforms, their colors have turned red like Izaya’s T-shirt. 

“Shut up!”

“What do you know?!” When one person shouted that, Shizuo had to swallow a hard lump down. 

Izaya grinned, showing off the front row of his teeth. The smile crawled on his face like a white centipede. His eyes squinted down upon them so cunningly like blades. With a flick of his wrist, he pulled out his phone and snapped it open as if it was a knife from his pocket. Several members flinched, surprisingly even Shizuo. For some reason, his muscles instinctively grew tense. 

“I know-” the phone was waving at them- “plenty enough.” 

A bright flash caused everyone to blink in shock. Some flinched away, others covered their faces. Only Shizuo stood his ground, withstanding the temporary blindness. For the rest, luminescent spots were distracting their vision as Izaya’s laughter taunted their ears. Eyes watering and turning bloodshot, many members were ready to direct their focus on Izaya before the bell rang. 

“If you guys are tardy, it will affect your practice,” Izaya said. 

“We’ll get you for this! Both of you!” Others yelled in agreement and threw any more last minute threats before running away as if their gears rode up their pants or it fell between their legs. 

Meanwhile Shizuo and Izaya were left facing each other, neither one cared enough about their attendance at this point. Compared to their first meeting, Izaya preferred this angle better. Tucking his phone back in, he propped one leg up and rested his arm upon the knee. He tilted his head down to stare straight at Shizuo that even his neck disappeared behind his chin. Shizuo met Izaya’s fierce gaze with a glare of his own. His nose turned upward, sniffing that permeated smell again. 

“Why did you do that?” His tone was low and demanding.

Izaya innocently tilted his head. “Do what?”

“You know what you did! You…” _…stood up for me._ The words died on his tongue as if he was refused to believe it. 

Izaya sighed, not understanding where Shizuo’s mind could have wandered off to. “Shouldn’t you be mad that they were wrong against you?”

Normally, Shizuo would be. However, he was sensible enough to know that their words held some truth behind it. “They were right anyways. I can’t control myself. I cause trouble for everyone and I can’t help it. I am a monster.” His voice was gruff and his fists clenched again.

Guilt was clearly written across Shizuo’s face. It was disgusting to him. Izaya couldn’t allow Shizuo to feel human emotions. “At least you’re an interesting one. I much rather prefer you to be a monster than a human.”

A vein sprouted on Shizuo’s forehead. “Huh?! Why?”

“Because you’ll always be different.” Izaya shifted his tone to sound more even. His voice wasn’t airy or whimsical when he mocked others. Both of his and Shizuo’s eyes were clear enough to see each other’s own reflection. _Just accept that you’ll always be a monster._ Breaking slowly away, Izaya shrugged. “So why not embrace it?” 

From the way Izaya sounded, Shizuo could tell it was more grounded like there was an unspoken understanding between them. His fist unclenched, but his stomach didn’t. _If I’m different then…_ “Why did you get involved?”

Izaya faked an expression that looked like he was considering the question. To put it simply, he loved humans. Interfering brought him amusement. He loved the conflicting expressions of the boys and their squirming convictions. He also wanted Shizuo to rage upon them, proving how terrifying Shizuo was as a monster. Yet it was anticlimactic that Shizuo kept his cool like the words of the bullies weren’t getting through enough. _Always unpredictable._ Izaya wanted to point out the hypocrisy, push the right buttons, to see if it could provoke Shizuo. But to reveal all of this, Izaya felt there was no obligation to explain his intentions. “I don’t have to give you a reason,” he threw back. When Shizuo looked at him with a shock expression, Izaya grinned. He had hoped that it left the same bitter unsatisfactory feeling. 

Shizuo huffed in annoyance like Izaya wanted. However, there was no firing burning rage in his eyes. Izaya was mildly surprised that Shizuo had more of a calm deep gaze, almost resigning yet accepting the circumstances. Shizuo leaned back in his posture, one hand shoved his pocket. _This guy kept disappearing but then shows up to help,_ he questioningly thought. 

“You don’t make any sense,” Shizuo sighed. He noticed the way Izaya’s dangled arm gripped the bottoms of his pants like he was bracing himself for Shizuo’s next words. He did have a train of thought but lost it, choosing instead to say “you’re weird.”

For a moment, Izaya’s eyebrows rose up. Shizuo could tell that he caught the other off guard. And then, Izaya snickered in a way that it helped release the breath he was holding in. From the way he laughed compared to the first time, Shizuo thought it sounded more genuine. In fact, he noticed the way Izaya was trying to cover his face with the arm dangling over his knee. 

“Yeah, maybe I am.” It was a small whisper but enough for Shizuo to hear. Izaya lifted his head back up with a proud smile. “But, so are you.”

Shizuo would have gotten mad despite knowing the truth himself. He would have felt the fiery anger in his stomach, but instead felt a warm press settling inside. It wasn’t an isolating feeling; he felt acquainted. Izaya swung his legs over and jumped down on the other side of the wall. The last thing Shizuo saw was how the tiny jacket rode up again. It was still annoying. It was still weird. It still didn’t make sense, but Shizuo had to accept it nonetheless. Feeling oddly alone, he trudged to class. Throughout the rest of the day, one fact remained in his mind. No one had defended him before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter titles may be subject to change. Many of the mob characters that are mentioned in the chapter are inspired by Shizuo’s Gaiden Bloody White Day. I try not to use any original characters being that important to the story; I strangely and ironically want to be canon compliant basically.


	4. The Hands of a Human

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience and comments! And now the plot you have been waiting for...
> 
> Also side note: It is said that Dotachin and Shizuo didn’t talk much in high school until AFTER they graduated apparently.

Shizuo opened his shoe locker to find no garbage piling inside this time. Shinra even complimented that it was a miracle. However, he didn’t understand why Shizuo frowned instead of looking relieved. When they went to class, his desk was spotless. Shinra made another optimistic comment but Shizuo still stared suspiciously at the hard wood. It was like he was waiting for the invisible ink to rub off and reveal the writing underneath. Nevertheless, he had to begrudgingly sit down when class started. All day long Shinra didn’t know why Shizuo was in a bad mood as opposed to when the bullying started. If anything, he thought his friend would be happy that he finally had the peace he wanted. No trash in his lockers, no writings on his desks, no missing things from his bag; his situation should have been considered lucky. Yet there was one thing that gave Shizuo the most unrest: No Izaya. 

For the past few days, Shizuo couldn’t smell him either. It riled him up more than it should have. He reckoned it was because it was more dangerous to not know where Izaya was and what he was doing. The boy would be jumping around, popping in and out of places, and spreading nuisances everywhere. Shizuo could barely describe him as a human. Like a black blob closely related to an insect, he felt a weird urge to catch Izaya. 

One morning later, Shizuo met up with Shinra by the school gates. They exchanged the casual greetings and stood by their shoe lockers. Both of them hadn’t noticed how many students were rushing to get out of the area. They figured it was the usual reaction when Shizuo was near. However, his nose was assaulted by an overwhelming putrid stench that even Shinra pinched his nose with mild disgust. As they both wondered where it was coming from, Shizuo hesitated with the handle of his shoe locker before holding his breath. He flung it open and stepped back. Shinra was expecting a flood of garbage to spew out but instead watched as Shizuo’s hunched shoulders relaxed down. Upon seeing his friend’s frowning expression, Shinra peered inside to find a clean box with nothing but Shizuo’s indoor slippers. 

“That was underwhelming,” said Shinra. 

“Did you want my locker to be a garbage dump again?” Shizuo’s warning tone made Shinra shake his head frantically. 

“No! No! I meant-” Shinra opened his locker, grateful it was also clean- “if it’s not your locker, then where’s the smell coming from?” 

Shizuo gave a hard stare. He swiftly switched his shoes and placed his outdoor ones inside his locker. The moment he shut the door with a click, it echoed in his mind. The trashy smell was familiar. Shizuo knew it had to be the same culprits, but he wasn’t the victim this time.

“Which one is his locker,” Shizuo asked, turning to Shinra who finished swapping shoes.

“Whose?” 

“Your other friend, Izaya.”

“Orihara-kun?” Shinra didn’t need to question further as he scanned up and down at the other rows of lockers. “His name has a unique spelling so it’s probably hard to find it easily.” As he got closer to the correct locker, the smell became more pungent. He pointed at it and squeezed his nose harder. “This should be it.” 

_Even the combination of his name is weird._ Under regular circumstances if Shinra wasn’t with him, Shizuo would have never found it on his own. However, he judged that it had to be the right one since the smell was getting stronger. Taking the risk, Shizuo ripped the locker open like a bandage. Garbage disgorged out as though it was a wastebasket. It was the flooding imagery that Shinra expected as a mixture of various liquids squished together created a brown sewage color. Crumpled paper was soaked and other plastics were getting crusty. It was a miracle that the rotten food hadn’t attracted the ants yet. Shizuo wanted to throw up. His locker hadn’t been this bad. Meanwhile Shinra kept his disgust to a mild degree. 

“Now _this_ is horrible,” Shinra emphasized nasally. 

“Those bastards…!” Shizuo spat out as though he could taste the trash from the smell alone. 

“I guess they switch targets. Poor Orihara-kun,” Shinra said with no remorse. Judging from the amount, the rubbish had been piling up for days. Shinra wondered if Izaya had been visiting his locker at all. If he could sort through the garbage with his eyes, he would find that Izaya’s shoes were missing, enough for the volume of trash to fit more inside. “Should we tell the teachers? Someone must have by now.”

Perhaps it was because Shizuo’s nose was blocked that Shinra could hear the ragged breathing growing heavier through his teeth.

“Hey, Shinra,” Shizuo sounded surprisingly calm, “is it my turn for cleaning duty?” 

“I think so?” 

“Good.”   
  
  
  
  
  


“Hey, _Orihara_!” 

The moment Izaya had exited the library, he anticipated this. He could tell from the way his name was mocked with a sense of superiority that it was supposed to be a scare tactic. It was supposed to leave him wondering how did they find him and know his name. It was a tactic he was too familiar with. He turned around to see some of the soccer members from a few days ago. It must have been the ones from the front row since they had the confidence to approach him. 

“Hello, senpai.” They were disappointed that he spoke casually. “Do you need me for something?”

“Yeah! We wanna know why you stuck your nose in our business!” 

“Are you buddies with Heiwajima?!”

Izaya’s grip on his school bag tightened. “I wouldn’t go so far as to say that.”

“Then what?! You think you’re some kind of ally for justice?!” 

Izaya let out a deep chuckle. “That title doesn’t really suit me. If I was really doing it out of justice, wouldn’t I have stopped you from all your bullying attempts to Shizuo-kun?” They looked at him confusingly. “Trash in his lockers, writing on his desk, putting his things in waste bins.” The members bobbed their head noticeably as Izaya counted his fingers leisurely. Their haughty postures all tensely scrunched up. “What kind of logic is that?”

“We didn’t do anything!” 

“How can you say it was us?!”

“You got any proof?!”

They immediately heard a click and flinched violently. Proudly displayed on Izaya’s phone, there were incriminating pictures of every member at the scenes of the crimes. He leisurely scrolled through numerous photos with a satisfied smile. Each member’s jaw went slack opened. Before one of them could utter a sound, their voices replayed back. Izaya showed a video of when they vandalized Shizuo’s desk and threw trash in his locker. Their laughter playing on the screen was almost like they were mocking at their current selves now.

“Oh? What’s this?” Izaya didn’t even look back at the screen. He knew perfectly what was displayed by the paler looks on their faces. “This isn’t Shizuo’s desk or his locker. It looks quite familiar to me.” Izaya’s expression was full of amusement for his own desk and locker to be vandalized. 

One member admittedly screamed, “you watched us do that to your own stuff?!” 

“Why didn’t you stop us?!”

Izaya shrugged. “It doesn’t matter to me.” 

They gawked at each other. Izaya held in his desire to laugh delightfully at their reactions. 

“Are you gonna rat us out?” 

“We could break your shitty phone!” 

Izaya chuckled again. “You underestimated me if you think I carry the evidence _only_ on my phone. What makes you think I haven’t anonymously sent these to the teachers’ mailboxes? It’s only a matter of time.” 

“Tha- That’s a bluff! You didn’t do that!” 

“Maybe it is. Maybe I didn’t. Either way, you guys have so much more to lose than I do, don’t you?” His smile was so sharp that it cut the words from their dry throats. 

In actuality, Izaya had already won. In the end, he got what he wanted: the looks on their faces. He enjoyed the vigorous wave of emotions from seeing their untouchable, haughty composure to being reduced to gaping fishes out of water. It was this moment that made humanity interesting - the choice to rise up or sink further. He got to witness how the intense raw emotions have coated their faces and would dictate their next actions. The soccer players were acting like they were balancing from a seemingly life or death choice; as if the world was crumbling but more specifically their world. They were left with the constant fear and dread for when the teachers might call for them. That every day would be their last and awaiting for the potential punishment. That even if they were to drag Izaya’s name, who would believe that the victim watched the vandalism of their own property and not report it right away. That they still don’t know Izaya’s true reasoning for everything and wouldn’t understand it. That he simply loves humans. 

“Get him…!” They began marching closer. 

“What’s this? Won’t you guys get in more trouble?” Izaya casually took big steps backwards. 

“It doesn’t matter anymore!” He enjoyed how one of them cried back his own words against him. 

“We don’t have a choice anymore!” He sneered further as he saw the burning anger shown in their eyes. They had the desperation for some form of superiority back and abandoned all logical reasoning. “And neither do you.” 

Izaya turned around to find another small group of the soccer members on the other side. No one else was in the hallways since it was the end of the day and many had gone home. He was surrounded like a drifter in the middle of a small group of sharks. His eyes sank down to see one of them was holding a baseball bat. 

“You don’t have anywhere to run.” 

“I guess not,” he replied. 

The members grinned victoriously at each other. However, their faces fell when Izaya went over to the window and pulled it open. Morphed into confusion, they watched as Izaya took out his outdoor shoes from the plastic bag inside his school bag. He faced them with the same smile as he sat back on the ledge, put his shoes on with no rush, and placed the indoor slippers back in his bag. Some were getting the idea but they never anticipated it since they were on the third floor. 

“However,” Izaya smiled wider from the disbelief expressions on their faces, “I’m pretty sure some of you are getting the picture.” 

“You wouldn’t-”

“Bye-Bye!” 

Izaya waved as he rocked back on his feet. He gave a few playful kicks as if he was fooling them. And then he threw his head back, showing off the curvature point from the tip of his chin to the toes of his feet. His long legs extended out straightly and his feet waggled as they were waving goodbye too. The soccer members’ yelps were carried off by the wind that was blowing the hairs across his face. His eyes reflexively closed to avoid the sun blinding him once again as if it was punishing him for his reckless decision. Body folding outward, Izaya’s back curved more like a crescent. Once his legs swung over by gravity, he tucked his knees in and swiftly landed on the grass in a crouched position. He could hear the hollers from above. The soccer team were shouting in disbelief, amazement, and determination to catch Izaya. The scampering of their footsteps squeaked in the hallways before leaving the area quiet again. 

Izaya heard someone clear their throat. He found Kadota sitting cross-legged against the wall and reading his book. 

“Hey, Dotachin!”

“Don’t call me that,” he replied and turned the page. “Sounds like you’re in a lot of trouble.”

“Yes,” Izaya said with no hint of worry, “I am.”

“Do you need any help?” 

Izaya shook his head. The shouts were getting louder and closer. “I better get going. Oh, but can you hold onto this for me please? Thank you!” He settled his school bag beside Kadota who didn’t agree to his request yet. “Bye-bye!” 

Kadota didn’t watch him leave nor saw his goodbye wave. His eyes never left his page, but didn’t follow the words either. He heard Izaya’s footsteps disappear quickly and quietly. Another set of yelling were coming from all directions. Eventually, the area was silent once again. Kadota turned another page of his book before finally deciding to close it.   
  
  
  
  
  


“You got nowhere to escape now!” 

Indeed, Izaya found himself in the same predicament as he was earlier but on a larger scale. Instead of the few sharks, he was circled around by a giant school of fishes. Trapped in a dark area behind the school, there were no openings for him to squeeze through without getting grabbed by his opponents. All of the soccer members were carrying different kinds of sports equipment. Each of them were hunched over in battle stance positions versus Izaya who was relaxed and standing straight. 

He said with a smile, “this hardly seems fair. All of you against me? I’m clearly outnumbered.” 

“Then maybe you shouldn’t have opened your big mouth then!” 

“You shouldn’t have stuck your nose where it didn’t belong!” 

“Now you’re gonna pay!”

As the other murmured in agreement, Izaya shrugged. “If you insist.” Having a hand in his pocket, he pulled out a fist. A blade flicked out and slipped between his fingers. 

Some of the players recoiled back, gawking at the shiny weapon. “Whoa! This guy is dangerous!”

“He carries a knife in his pocket?!” 

Izaya snickered. “Don’t worry. I don’t plan on killing any of you. This is to even out the playing field.” 

He didn’t point the knife at them. Regardless, it wouldn’t have mattered since the fear, doubt, and hesitation were swimming in their stomachs. To some, those anxieties morphed into adrenaline and lost their ability to make calm judgements. One brave soul started the kickoff and came forward with a swing of a shinai. He charged straight for the head, preparing to knock Izaya unconscious. He was expecting for a hard impact, the sound of a body falling, and blood splattering everywhere. What he received was the slicing of air and his balance being thrown off. He tripped over his own footing and felt another foot hit his ankle, causing him to fall on his face. Izaya stared down at his body with a smirk. 

The next one came with a tennis racket. He aimed when Izaya’s back was turned, but Izaya sidestepped again and caused the other student to trip over the first body. Another rushed forward with a punch, but Izaya twirled around. The person kept swinging at Izaya, always hitting the air around him. Another student also joined the fray and tried to punch Izaya from behind, however he ducked causing both boys to punch each other and knocking them out. Izaya kept the routine of dancing around their futile attacks, either happily skipping, ducking, and jumping out of the way. He always maintained a distance as his strategy. To his advantage, since many were uncoordinated, they often ended up accidentally attacking each other when they were too focused on landing a hit on him. One member sprang up and swung with a baseball bat. Izaya didn’t have any more space to jump back, so he had to use his knife to intercept the weapon. It carved into the wood and turned it into a battle between the strengths of their arms. Izaya knew he wouldn’t win so he shuffled his feet and maneuvered around so the opponent mirrored his actions and received a blow to the back when another student thought there was a clear opening to strike Izaya when he was distracted. 

However, Izaya lost his knife due to it sinking its teeth too hard on the bat. He didn’t have time to retrieve it back when most players were approaching him. When he stepped back, he hit a wall. Much of the confidence was creeping back on their faces as soon as they realized he was cornered. 

“Not so tough now, Orihara!” 

They expected him to be begging for mercy. They were hoping for the look of panic and fear as he once inflicted on them. What they received was a wry smile as Izaya accepted the unfortunate outcome. _It’s my loss…_ One of them grabbed the front corners of his jacket, lifted him up by the toes of his feet, and slammed him hard against the wall. The smile never left his face however his eyes squinted from the harsh impact. 

And then one student’s body was thrown over their heads. He ricocheted off like a fish out of water and splashed on the ground. The rest of the team, even Izaya, stared shockingly as blood pooled through his broken nose and a few of his teeth were missing. After their horrified gasps escaped, they turned to the source of heavy breathing. Blood dripped from one fist and the other was balling the shirt of another unconscious student. A sweat drop leaked from the forehead and dripped down to the wrinkles of his frown. Everyone else swallowed hard lumps in their throats, except Izaya. He recognized that burning rage swelling in the eyes too well. He just wasn’t used to that anger not directed toward him specifically. 

“You bastards…!” Shizuo huffed through gritted teeth. He flung the other student away and cracked his fingers. 

“Heiwajima?!” 

“Get him!” 

A good majority redirected their focus onto Shizuo. They thought that if they had the weapons and the numbers, he would be easy to take down this time. They were proven wrong too quickly. It took one punch from Shizuo to knock them down individually. Other times, he would grab the members and flung them in the air or into each other. Any weapons they used were instantly crushed within contact. Even those who feared for their life and decided to run away could not escape Shizuo’s rampage. A body would immediately pummel them unconscious, leaving no survivors. While Izaya moved with more elegance and elaboration, Shizuo was more animalistic and brutal. There was no strategy that came to his mind, only to _kill_. The wave of blue uniforms were dyed red with Shizuo collecting the most all over his body. 

As the hurricane of students surrounded Shizuo, Izaya used this distraction to pull his arms in from his sleeves and slip out of his uniform jacket. He ducked under the arms of the one student who was holding him. That same person was about to grab Izaya again before his face was met with a ruthless punch. He was flung back several feet until a wall stopped his airborne distance. Izaya paid no heed to his attacker and focused on the bigger threat before him. Shizuo glared at him with menacing eyes and Izaya went to reach for the knife only to realize he still didn’t have it. He cursed himself as he maintained a few steps back. Shizuo rushed forward with his hand open and ready to sink his claws in. All Izaya could do was bend his upper body away from the death grip.

Out of the corner of his eyes did Izaya finally notice a swinging bat narrowly missing him from behind. He inhaled sharply, but a true gasp escaped when Shizuo took hold of the bat. The wood broke through and pierced into his hand. Splinters stabbed in the skin. Thin streams of blood trailed the outline of his palm. Izaya could see the pain expression Shizuo was holding back through his sweat-clung hair. More of the wood was crunched between Shizuo’s fingers and snapped into two chunks. With the same bloody fist, Shizuo struck the assailant in the stomach. The student retched out spit and blood before falling to his knees and cuddling his abdomen. Seeing his reaction, Izaya clutched his own stomach as if he could feel the similar pain. _You almost got hurt too._ Shizuo’s past words were crawling into Izaya’s ears again and made him choke. The same indebted feeling was boiling inside that he wished he could vomit out. He almost wanted that bat to hit him instead of witnessing this moment. Izaya would rather get hurt than to be saved by this monster. 

“Stop...” He was so quiet compared to the destructive yelling that even Izaya couldn’t hear his own voice. “Stop it, you idiot!” 

Another shinai swung down and smacked Shizuo’s skull. He bled from the natural parting of his hair. 

“Shizu… Shizuo-kun! Stop!” 

Shizuo blocked another hard weapon with his forearm. From the forceful charge, it was definitely leaving another dark bruise.

“Cut it out! Shizuo-kun! ...Ah!” As Izaya was growing tired of Shizuo’s deafening ears, he sensed another sharp movement in the wind. One student looking beaten up - either he had been one of the first ones taken down - took a swing at Izaya with a baseball bat. Coincidentally from the flashy silver light, it had been the same bat that was stuck with his knife. Izaya had luckily jumped back, but in doing so his feet tripped over the fallen bodies. Both of his hands reached out to grab onto something for balance and wound up gipping onto the fabric of a uniform jacket. Before he could regain his stance, his whole body was repeatedly being whipped around like a ragdoll but still holding on for dear life. It wasn’t until Izaya spotted the blonde hair over the collar that he cursed his luck. _Good grief…!_ Shizuo hadn’t noticed as he was too busy fighting the others, and if he did he was trying to shake Izaya off like a flea without knowing it was him. ... _So persistent!_ Izaya thought as he felt his lower half would be torn off from his body with all the thrashing. Having enough, Izaya straddled his legs around Shizuo’s waist and pulled himself up so that his arms hooked under Shizuo’s armpits. With the extra weight hanging on his back, Shizuo tipped back but regained his composure. Izaya felt like he was holding back a bull, afraid of letting go and having the animal charged at him. The numbers of soccer players were diminishing down faster than he noticed. It came down to the last student - the one who aimed at Izaya earlier - and Shizuo gave one final punch through the blocking bat. The force was enough to smash everything, including the knife. Izaya watched as tiny pieces - wood and shiny silver metal - shattered before his eyes, crumbling to the ground like his resolve. 

“SHIZU-CHAN, STOP!” 

The screaming in Shizuo’s ear halted his body. His mind briefly flashed when he first heard it in elementary school and the faces of his peers looking at him fearfully. Not knowing when Izaya closed his eyes, he opened them again to witness the last member falling to the ground. The broken bodies laid like dead fishes with pieces of sports equipment acting like garbage washed up on the shore. Blood and sweat were puddles of tidal waves. It looked exactly like the same image when Shizuo fought the other half of the team. The only sound left was their panting.

Feeling Shizuo’s muscles relaxing, Izaya hopped back away. As the warmth and wild heartbeat disappeared from his back, Shizuo sharply turned and softened when he saw it was Izaya all along. He wiped his face with his sleeve, unbeknownst to spreading more blood on his face. 

“Are you hurt,” his croaked voice asked. 

Izaya shook his head. He didn’t need to throw the question back. “How did you know _this_ was happening? Were you conveniently strolling by?” 

Shizuo scratched his head sheepishly. Normally, he could have ignored the ruckus that the members were making in the school building if it had nothing to do with him. However, he recognized some of their faces from the red flush of anger he saw on that day they confronted him. The redness reminded him of Izaya’s T-shirt. He looked down to notice Izaya was missing his uniform jacket yet Shizuo still had his miraculously.

“I followed them and saw them pinning you to the wall and I…” ... _lost control again._

The moment Shizuo’s fists balled up, Izaya needed to interrupt. “Why did _you_ get involved?” It was a pointless question that he shouldn’t have asked. Although it was something he was curious about, he knew he shouldn’t have expected a straight response. He was about to take it back, not wanting to hear another “I don’t need a reason” answer. However, he was taken back when Shizuo’s soft tone surprised him. 

“It’s my fault you got into this mess.” 

At this moment, Izaya felt a heavy weight on his shoulders. The beholden feeling in his stomach was threatening to pull him down. He wanted to laugh to get rid of it or else he would vomit. As the adrenaline wore off, Shizuo could feel his muscles growing sore. Both of their postures hunched over from exhaustion. It was almost like their pains were synchronized. The weight of responsibility was too much to bear for the both of them. 

“Shit. I’ll get suspended,” Shizuo groaned. As he frowned, a wound near his mouth opened up and left a trail of blood running down his chin. Izaya thought it was weirder for Shizuo to look more agonized over the consequences than the injuries he sustained. Instead Shizuo buried his hands into his face and kept muttering to himself. “Kasuka… Mom and Dad… I promised I behaved… and this always happens… so much trouble for them...” 

_So he really was worried about that?_ Much of the family talk felt like a fluke to Izaya. He focused on the dry bloodied hands of Shizuo. Those same hands were more deadly than any sports equipment or weapon in the world. Those same hands that were often charged at him. He never thought he wouldn’t be at the end of those receiving punches. He never thought those hands would protect him. The sickening feeling was back. 

“You don’t need to worry about any of this,” Izaya said. 

When Shizuo gawked at him questionably, Izaya reached out and wiped his palm against the cut on Shizuo’s mouth. The other flinched back, not from the pain but the sudden graze. He didn’t expect someone to touch him so casually again after witnessing the violent display he caused. No one dared to lay a finger on him, afraid that he’ll bite back or break it. The hand that touched him showed no fear. 

“Hey!” Shizuo was about to grab his wrist but Izaya pulled back fast enough. “What was that for? What do you mean?”

“The blood’s also on my hands now.” Izaya showed the prominent red stain smeared against his palm. “I chose to get involved in this mess. So let me take care of things.” 

“...How?”

“Trust me.” 

The hoarseness in Shizuo’s voice couldn’t match against the firmness in Izaya’s. As much as he wanted to protest whatever Izaya had planned, the serious expression on Izaya’s face had dried the words from his throat. There was no smile or laughter. Like their meeting on the rooftop, they both stood on even ground and stared eye-to-eye. The sharpness of Izaya’s eyes had pierced straight into his own. 

Izaya simply instructed Shizuo to go home or get himself patched up. To come up with an excuse for his injuries, even with something lame like falling down the stairs or getting hit by a truck. More importantly, to forget about today’s fight like it was just a bad dream. When Shizuo begrudgingly left, Izaya heard the rustling of the ground and quickly saw a shadow ducking out of sight. 

“You can come out now.” There was a moment of silent hesitation before Kadota peeked behind the corner. “Dotachin? I’m surprised you’re still around.” 

“I came to return this.” Glancing over at the fallen bodies with an indifferent discomfort, he maneuvered around and handed Izaya his school bag. He didn’t mean to be a bystander. He would have jumped in to help if Shizuo hadn’t showed up. 

As Kadota was checking to see if anyone was conscious yet, Izaya bent down to retrieve his jacket back. “Can you call the ambulance for them?” 

“Already did. They should be on their way.” 

Izaya paused. “Can you do me another favor?” 

“Depends on what it is. I don’t want to be a part of your troubles.” 

“It’s fine.” Izaya’s head turned away. Kadota couldn’t tell what his facial expression was. “The only one who will get in trouble is me anyways.”  
  
  
  
  
  


Shizuo opened up his locker and switched his shoes. He had done it without a second thought, finally settling back into the norm before he used to open it while holding his breath. There was no garbage smell in the vicinity. It was the scent of relief. When he passed by Izaya’s locker, he wondered if the other was able to open it peacefully. 

As Shizuo took a seat at his desk before class started, many of his classmates looked at him warily. He wasn’t sure if the news had spread about his fight or if the bandages on his face and hands gave it away. Either way, he was used to this treatment since elementary school. Speaking of which, he found himself oftenly reminiscent about the past because he had a dream of one incident. The soccer players reminded him of an old group of bullies led by a classmate named Hiruyama. Repeating the events, Shinra was the only one who approached him again with friendly ease. 

“Hey, Shizuo-kun, did you hear?”

“What?”

“Orihara-kun got suspended for fighting with the remaining soccer team and put them all in the hospital.” 

“What?!” 

From Shizuo’s bark, many surrounding students decided to back away from the classroom. Only one boy in a black uniform remained at his desk and continued reading his book. 

Shinra wasn’t startled by Shizuo’s outburst. He was used to it after all. “Surprising, huh? I thought you or Shishizaki-senpai were the only ones capable of doing that.” 

“What is that idiot thinking?!” As Shizuo turned away, Shinra could tell that he was muttering to himself. “How is this taking care of things?” 

Shinra trailed over to the multiple bandages on his hands and face. “I thought so! Judging by your injuries, this wasn’t a ‘falling down the stairs’ incident. You actually fought the team but Izaya took the fall again, didn’t he?” 

Shizuo suspiciously glared at his friend. “You sound like he’s done this before.” 

Shinra nodded. “Something happened between me and him back in middle school. I won’t go into too much detail but this feels similar. I wouldn’t worry about it since this isn’t his first time getting suspended.”

Despite Shinra’s casual response to the situation, Shizuo couldn’t help but worry more. The uneasy feeling of not seeing Izaya was creeping back. Knowing that Izaya will have a lot of free time to kill was unsettling. However, not knowing how the boy truly felt about getting suspended was also concerning. _How will his family react? Is he in more trouble with them?_ Shizuo remembered the whole reason was because he was worried about his own. He never considered Izaya or knew anything about his homelife. With that in mind, Shizuo couldn’t fathom how this solution resolved anything. “Why would he do this?” 

Shinra shrugged. He didn’t have the answer either. Not even the boy in the black uniform who had been rereading the same page for the past few minutes did. On that day he did what Izaya asked, which was simply telling the teachers that a fight broke out and Izaya blatantly admitted to everything but excluded Shizuo’s involvement. He might have even heard that Izaya was planning to visit the soccer team at the hospital to seal some sort of deal. As long as he didn’t get involved more, he didn’t question it. Yet he also never got an answer to Izaya’s reasoning. And like the soccer members, perhaps no one would truly understand.

“That guy,” he said. Shizuo and Shinra both turned to the student. They both vaguely remembered his name to be Kadota. His eyes shifted up and then back to his book, face still neutral. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to listen in but I know Izaya somewhat.” He flipped a page, remembering the calm smile Izaya had throughout the mess. “I don’t know what goes on inside his head and while he may seem up to no good all the time…” Kadota finally closed the book. He also recalled how Izaya occasionally looked down at his bloody hand. His smile would falter, but he kept that hand open and never concealed. He carried it to the hospital. “You should talk to him when his suspension is over. I think you can understand him better if you’re his friend. He is also human, you know?” 

Shizuo’s eyes widened and his back straightened up. Shinra nodded along, having a mutual agreement. “Yeah. He may be a shady person, but he’s still human.”

Shizuo frowned as if he was still grasping the concept. It wasn’t as though Shizuo had forgotten about that but it was easier to see Izaya as an insect. There was no doubt in his mind that Izaya was a weird person. However, Shizuo briefly glanced at Shinra and realized that Izaya wasn’t the first weirdest person he met. Strangely enough like his first weird friend, there was no denying that Izaya had also saved him. 

Shizuo stared down at his own hand, remembering the one that reached out to him. His ears tingled, recalling the sound of Izaya’s voice waking him up. And then his back hunched over, thinking about the warmth and the heartbeat pressed against him. For the first time, Shizuo felt right to admit that he wanted to see Izaya again. 

“Human, huh…” 

When Izaya woke up…

The sunlight didn’t poke his eyelids. Stirring himself awake, he noticed that the blankets fell down to his hips. With his stomach exposed, he felt the cold draft coming through the ventilation and slung an arm to cover it. The alarm on his phone was the final wake up call. Shutting it off, he routinely stretched and gandered at his surroundings. _I’m back again?_ Izaya never thought that he would feel slightly disappointed to be back at his apartment. He would have liked to know what Shizuo’s reaction was when he found out about the news. _I do have another way though._ Izaya smiled with anticipation. He couldn’t wait to hear the results of his experiment. 

As he grabbed his phone to check if Shinra was available, the date on the screen made his eyes pop. A day hadn’t been skipped over, more than half a year did. _This isn’t right…_ Izaya swiftly got off the bed and checked his other phones. They all had the same date. _Have I really slept that long?_ He figured it wasn’t possible because his body would have been numb and weak. He doubted Namie had attended to his bedridden self. _What’s going on?_ He called Shinra’s number, but only received a dial tone. After a few more tries, he figured it was best to meet his friend in person. 

Namie’s shift wouldn’t start until much later, so he left her a note just in case. As he arrived in the city, many humans were walking amok as though everyone coincidentally had the day off. There weren't many changes even though supposedly more than half a year had passed. He still couldn’t believe it but he had to accept the truth when he casually asked people for the date. _Is this another element to my weird ability? It didn’t happen last time, so why is it different?_

As more questions ran through his mind, he decided to pull out his phone and call Shinra again. As he scrolled through his contacts, a voice made the back of his hair stand up. 

“Izaya…!” 

His nerves pulsated and his muscles tense up. A familiar rush of paranoia crawled up his spine. He swiftly turned around, ready for an impending object to be thrown at his face. The knife in his pocket was quickly pulled out and hidden in his sleeve. 

Izaya was expecting to see the familiar rage seething in Shizuo’s eyes. He was ready for the beast to charge at him with fists curled. Instead he was greeted with a sight that left his guard up even higher. Shizuo had his shoulders laid back and his hands rested in his pants pockets. His expression wasn’t rigid with wrinkles and irritation. His eyes were composed and a little concerned. He stood next to Tom who peeked over and even greeted Izaya in a friendly manner too. It stunned Izaya who could barely give a proper response back. He was too focused on Shizuo and how they were both staring at one another as though the other was the only one acting strange.

“Are you okay?” There was no growl in the back of his throat. Shizuo sounded calm and oddly worried. 

Izaya quickly glanced at his surroundings to see if Shizuo was referring to someone else. He even wondered if Shizuo was imagining him as another person. However, there was no denying that Izaya undoubtedly heard his name which meant Shizuo was definitely talking to him.

He fixed his posture to look more at ease but kept the knife looming over the edge. “Yeah. I just thought you were somebody else.” When Shizuo looked at him confusingly, Izaya angled a foot back. “You are Shizu-chan, right?” 

“...Yeah?” Shizuo furrowed his eyes. The slight shift in his expression made Izaya want to run. He thought for a moment that the chase was about to begin but Shizuo made no sudden movements. Instead, the other kept eyeing Izaya suspiciously. “Are you sure you’re okay? You’re acting weird again, Izaya.” 

_You’re the weird one,_ Izaya ironically thought back. He almost wanted to say it out loud. _You’re the one that’s not acting right._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys noticed how similar this is to when Aoba defended Kururi from bullies? 👀
> 
> Also let me tell you guys HOW CRAZY THIS IS! I mentioned that I planned this story 4 years ago. These scenes with the soccer bullies were supposed to parallel Shinra and Izaya’s friendship in middle school with the stabbing incident HOWEVER I recently read Epitome of Eighteen Histories 8: Shizuo Heiwajima Episode which depicted Shizuo and Shinra’s friendship in elementary school. I DIDN’T REALIZE HOW MUCH MY SCENE PARALLELS THEIR FRIENDSHIP TOO!!! Guys, one of my good friends suggested the soccer bullying scene to me and I ran with it. The elementary story even had the “you’re weird” and “so are you” lines in it and I swear my mind exploded! 
> 
> If you see any grammar mistakes, let me know!


	5. I’m (not) fine

“I’m fine.” Despite his calm tone, Izaya kept rubbing his finger on the knife handle.

Shizuo looked unconvinced. His tone dipped lower. “You’re back in Ikebukuro again? It’s too early to come down.” 

_Is he still adamant about keeping me out?_ The knife was itching against the fur cuff. A sneer almost twitched the corner of his mouth. “Am I not allowed to be here?” 

“No. _You_ were the one that said you were busy all the time with work.” Izaya wasn’t sure why he was able to detect a hint of malice in Shizuo’s tone. It felt odd to assume that Shizuo sounded displeased that Izaya wasn’t showing up in Ikebukuro at all. “Are you up to something again?”

“What makes you say that?” 

Shizuo’s eyes narrowed. “Are we going to forget about yesterday?” 

Izaya tried to refrain himself from looking surprised and confused, gripping the knife tightly. Trying to subtly avoid answering the question, he replied with “if you must know, I’m going to see Shinra.”

What he assumed was going to be a sufficient answer had the opposite effect. “Why? Dinner’s not going to be ready until tonight.” Before Izaya could even question the implication, Shizuo’s posture went rigid. As if he figured it out, Shizuo stepped forward with his fists clenched. “Are you hurt? Was it from yesterday?”

Although Shizuo kept asking questions, Izaya was the one that needed answers. It definitely confirmed that he hadn’t slept for over half a year. On the other hand, it raised more questions than he thought. Feeling lost for words, Izaya shook his head. Unfortunately Shizuo’s sudden body movement made Izaya react instinctively. He took a step back as a reflex. 

Shizuo froze, confused at Izaya’s reaction. Before Shizuo could ask about it, he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned back to Tom who had a concerned expression. “Hey, Shizuo, you’re not supposed to talk about it, remember?” 

Like a flick of a switch, Shizuo’s shoulders relaxed and his tone lowered to an even level. “My bad, Tom-san. I forgot.”

“It’s no problem. If you’re worried, you should at least discuss it over dinner, right? Try to wait until then.” Shizuo confirmed within a beat, confusing Izaya more. Misreading Izaya’s reaction, Tom stepped forward with more composure. “Sorry about that. We had to deal with a troublesome client this morning.” Upon noticing Shizuo’s sulken demeanor, Tom gave a comforting pat on the shoulder. “It’s a little early, but want to eat at Russia Sushi today?”

“Yeah sure.” Before they head off, they bid farewell to Izaya. Even though Tom tried to move on from the topic very quickly, Shizuo still couldn’t help but linger on. He gave Izaya one final look over. “Don’t forget that you promised!” 

_Promise what?_ The question was on the tip of his tongue. However, like his knife on the tip of his cuff, he pulled it back and tucked it in the pocket. On the other side, his phone finally rang. He checked the caller ID and looked back to see Shizuo and Tom disappearing in the distance. Picking up the call, he had a scowl expression. 

“You finally picked up,” he said in a blatant statement.

“Hey, Orihara-kun! Sorry that I missed your calls,” Shinra said unapologetically. “I was in the middle of packing and didn’t have time to answer the phone.” 

Izaya leaned back against a wall. “Packing?”

“Yup! Me and Celty are on a lovely day trip together!” There was a brief muffling. Izaya could only assume that Celty was nearby and tried to stop his ramblings again. “But don’t worry, we’ll be back tonight for dinner. Guess what, we’re having hot pot!” 

Izaya rubbed the creases between his eyes. He wished his friend had informed him sooner before he traveled all the way down to Ikebukuro. “Is that so?”

“Do you need something?” 

It took Izaya a few moments to remember why he wanted to contact Shinra. The conversation with Shizuo had his whole body pressing for answers. He tilted his chin up, nudging his head against a window. “I had a strange dream last night.” He doesn’t know whether or not that was true anymore. Shinra repeated what he said in the form of a question. Izaya trailed his eyes to the straight poles of the street signs and the cleanliness of the sidewalks with no crushed cigarette residue. A cunning smile fell on his lips. “Maybe work has taken a toll on me or maybe it has something to do with yesterday, but I’m having trouble keeping up with my reality-” Izaya turned and stared at his reflection- “or even recognizing it. Can you help clear some things up for me?” He could hear the uncertainty humming in Shinra’s voice. “It’ll only be brief. I won’t take up too much of your time with Celty.” 

There was a long pause followed by a distant muffled voice. Izaya suspected Shinra was blocking the receiver end of his phone. Izaya perked an eyebrow to the sound of a horse echoing through the call. Once Shinra came back, Izaya asked what happened over the years specifically between him and Shizuo. He couldn’t believe his ears when he heard that they were friends. Shinra had briefly summarized the basics of their relationship through his eyes, “dysfunctionally functional” as he says. Although it explained how they could hold a conversation without Shizuo threatening him, hearing their stagnant relationship was unsettling to Izaya’s stomach. He could feel how it left an ironic bitter taste in his mouth. 

“You’d think Shizu-chan and I wouldn’t get along,” Izaya commented. 

“I thought so too,” Shinra laughed, “I mean you two still argue from time to time. But I feel like whenever you’re alone, you two become closer.” 

“I find that hard to believe,” Izaya scoffed. “How did we become friends?”

“Well like I said, I think you guys talked one time back in high school. I don’t know what really happened since I wasn’t there.” 

_Which means theoretically the only ones who would know are me and... Shizu-chan._ His fingers moved to rub the temples on his forehead. He was trying to process everything while unanswered questions were still in his mind. The new bits of information were not filling in the gaps but made the holes even wider, distorted, and unconnectable. _Why has everything changed?_ _It wasn’t like this last time._ He didn’t have enough information and it was giving him a headache. 

“Izaya,” Shinra’s voice broke through his concentration. It was surprisingly soft in a hushed whisper. “Are you really okay?”

The question didn’t catch him off guard this time. It was like he expected it. Izaya smiled as though he was hoping Shinra could feel it through his voice. “I’m fine.”

Shinra didn’t say anything more. He asked if that was all, and Izaya said it was for now. Shinra didn’t press further about the noticeably odd situation of Izaya wanting a recap of his past with Shizuo. He quickly bid a farewell and hung up before Izaya said it back. On the other hand, Izaya tried not to compare the differences between Shizuo’s behavior toward him and Shinra. How his “former” enemy expressed more concern over him than his only friend and at least let Izaya say goodbye. 

When the call ended, Izaya lazily dropped his arm. The date on the screen served as a harsh reminder of his bizarre reality. Dangling his phone, he closed it shut and shoved it in his pocket. The sunlight felt heavy on his skin. The humans around him were peaceful white noise. A chuckle was brooding in his chest. He breathed it out, almost choking his throat. He thought the iron taste in his mouth was the flavor of irony. _When I tried befriending Shizu-chan, I failed. And now when I didn’t try…_ A smile crept on his lips. _I hate how unpredictable you are, Shizu-chan.  
  
  
  
  
  
_ **[What was all that about?]** Celty couldn’t wait a second after the call ended. She hopped back into their carriage and signaled for Shooter to continue guiding them.

Before Shinra returned Izaya’s call, he had pulled out his phone to take pictures of Celty in her new getup. Once he was done, he made an off handed comment of missing many calls from his friend. Celty was the one who told him that he should see what Izaya needed. However, during the call, Celty had stopped the carriage ride because she felt another fairy presence in the woods and wished to greet them. It gave Shinra plenty of time to discuss whatever Izaya needed. He didn’t want Celty to worry about anything on their vacation, especially when it involved his only friends. 

“Hmm, something about work or a crazy dream last night. Nothing too serious,” he said passively while shutting his phone away. 

**[Are you sure? This is Izaya we’re talking about. He wouldn’t call you for nothing.]**

“I think he’s being paranoid because he probably hasn't been sleeping very well. I’ll prescribe some medicine to him if that’s what he needs.” Despite him casually trying to brush off the situation, Celty’s shoulders were still tensed up. Her fingers wavered over the PDA, struggling to respond. Shinra gently held onto her hand. “He said he’s fine, so I wouldn’t worry about it. Let’s continue to enjoy our vacation.”  
  
  
  
  
  
When Izaya returned back to his apartment, he wondered why the door handle was crushed. As he walked in, a familiar sight greeted him at least. Namie didn't glance in his direction as she was organizing his files again. He had playfully addressed her while she blankly ignored him. Even though her treatment was cold, it oddly gave him a sense of comfort. 

“Shiki-san has been trying to contact you this morning,” Namie informed. 

Izaya dropped off his jacket on the sofa. On the table was his personal board game with the different assorted pieces of Shoji, chess, and checkers. “A new assignment?”

“Who knows,” she said blandly. “Since you said you were out, I told him to try again tomorrow.”

Nodding understandingly, Izaya went over to his desk and turned on his computer. Normally, it would be smart to call back a man like Shiki as soon as possible. However, there were certain things that Izaya needed to know first before he could tackle any other problem. While he waited for the computer to load, he stared blankly at his clean empty desk. The desk back in his old bedroom was still fresh in his mind like he could recall every detail. Shaking the thought aside, he envisioned the unfinished puzzle back in Shinra’s apartment. The puzzle in his mind was too boring if he played it seriously. He decided to morph the puzzle to resemble his board game on the table. Instead of assembling the pieces to see the whole picture, he would rather control the pieces to fit in differently and see what new art could emerge. 

His computer screen awoke his attention back to it. The digital icons of documents and file folders were scattered across his monitors. The game pieces were right there, reflecting on his eyes. It was time to play. He stretched his arms first, knowing he would spend hours clawing through a lot of information starting from the beginning. In times like these, he was really grateful for his job. 

Izaya turned back to Namie who didn’t seem different compared to a certain someone. Her demeanor was laid back, her expression was blank, and her back was facing him the entire time. If he showed the slightest “weird” behavior, he wondered if she would care. “Namie-san, do you think a dream has the power to change one’s reality?” 

He could hear her sigh exasperatedly. “Depends on the human if they’re that motivated or just desperate.”

He grinned. “No, I meant the type of dreams you get when you fall asleep. Not someone’s goal.” 

“What are you talking about?” Her tone became more snarky. “As if that’s possible unless they fooled themselves into believing so.” The conversation went off tangent as Namie scoffed at the example if someone dreamt that they could fly, then that didn’t mean they could wake up and have the ability to do so. Even in a world like theirs with supernatural extremities roaming around, there hadn’t been any known cases like it. They both believed Nebula didn’t have ones either. “Why are you asking? It sounds like you haven’t been sleeping well.” 

His head perked up with interest and a teasing smile. “And you sound like you’re concerned about my well-being?”

“Not in the slightest,” she quipped. It made Izaya chuckle yet gave him a sense of relief. If Namie had actually cared, he wouldn’t know how to feel. It wouldn’t be as distorting as Shizuo, but definitely odd. 

“It’s just that Shizu-chan’s been acting differently than I expected.” Namie turned around, giving him her full attention. “He was different in my dream and now it’s come true.” 

“A presentiment?”

Izaya pondered over it. “Possibly.” He wasn’t sure if the feeling was entirely correct. It felt eerily close, but not enough to explain certain aspects. 

“How was he different?” She glanced over several documents before shuffling them into folders.

“He was…” Izaya tried to find the right word that didn’t make him feel nauseous. “I expected him to be angry at me, but he wasn’t.” 

“That makes sense, especially with the stunt you pulled on him yesterday.” Namie pulled the remaining binders together and carried them to the stairs. 

“What happened yesterday anyways?” Namie stopped halfway and peered over her shoulders. She gave him an incredulous look. On the other hand, Izaya wasn’t worried about her finding out about his strange circumstances. He knew she had no one else to tell nor would even care about it. The only real issue was that he didn’t want to hear her degrading tone because she didn’t believe him. “My memory has been becoming hazy from a lack of sleep.” 

She rolled her eyes and continued her ascent. “It was the usual. You dragged him into some mess like you always do with other people. I can’t believe he forgave you so easily just because you promise to have dinner over someone else’s place.” Izaya’s smile tugged down. He frowned deeply, not understanding the information. _That was the promise?_ It sounded ridiculous without any given context. More importantly, it didn’t sound like something Shizuo would do nor something Izaya would agree to. He might not know what to expect with Shizuo anymore, but he wanted to know the reasoning behind his own logic. “It’s absurd with how you two are,” Namie said in a passing tone. 

He was glad she spoke what had been on his mind. Izaya leaned back in his chair, knocking his head back against the top edge. He could see his reflection on his monitor and on the windows. The face was hardly recognizable. “I have to agree with you.”   
  
  
  
  
  
Time passed more quickly than he expected. It felt almost the same as his “dreams” of the past. He tried not to think so hard about it. Thankfully, his phone chimed with a message but unfortunately it was Shizuo. He asked if Izaya wanted to meet at the train station or Shinra’s apartment. Izaya chose the latter option, not even wanting to imagine what it would be like to be seen walking with Shizuo. After sending the message, he finally noticed the time and realized he should be getting ready to leave. Turning off his computer, picking up his jacket and sending Namie off, Izaya went back to Ikebukuro again.

Upon his hours of research, he had barely scratched the surface. The internet and the network of information was an endless spider web of stories and connections tied together. It was easy to get lost in one rabbit hole to the next. Even though he loved it, it placed him at a disadvantage. Catching up to current speed was going to take a couple of days. 

What he could gather at least was that mostly everything stayed the same except his relationship with Shizuo. They were still known as the most dangerous men in Ikebukuro, but as some sort of unstoppable pair. They were involved in a few wild incidents but also fought together as a team. Shizuo was still feared for his temper and uncontrollable strength while Izaya was infamous for his work behind the scenes. There were rumors like how many enemies thought they could take care of Izaya first before they could get to Shizuo, but those enemies never made a second attempt since then. They may have horribly underestimated Izaya’s skills or Shizuo had gotten to them first. Either way, that was how Shizuo and Izaya went by many names like “Fighting Team” or “Deadly Duo.” 

_If only my information could tell me how that monster and I became like this._ If Izaya had this information, he might have an idea on how to act around Shizuo. He knew from his earlier attempt that pretending to be nice wouldn’t work. If he wanted that information, he needed it from the direct source. The question was how to approach it without being suspicious. 

Regarding yesterday, the most information he got from the Dollar website was that a kidnapping took place during a brawl between Kadota and the leader of Toramaru. A huge fight broke out between the Dollars and the biker gang before Shizuo came to stop it. There were a few reports of flash bombs being used. That meant whatever Izaya did happened discreetly from the public eye, and his money was betting that it was related to the underground world. He didn’t get the chance to look into it some more before Shizuo messaged him, but he hoped he could pass it off. 

He finally arrived at Shinra’s apartment and took the elevator up. The numbers leading to the top floors were like a reverse countdown. In the meantime, Izaya pulled out his knife and inspected the blade. It seemed hardly used compared to how it usually would have been from all his encounters with Shizuo. _Now that I am supposedly close to Shizu-chan, can I finally destroy him? Can I learn what his weakness is?_ Better yet, it was more beneficial if he could use Shizuo for his own gains before finally getting rid of him. Izaya’s reflection on the blade looked better, smiling back. 

Once the elevator doors pulled open, he put his knife away and met Shizuo leaning against the wall near the apartment door. The other blew out his last smoke before tossing his cigarette away in the trash. 

“Hey.” 

“Good evening, Shizu-chan.” Izaya couldn’t remember a time where they greeted each other this casually before. He hopped off the elevator and the doors closed behind him, sealing his chances to escape. He started to approach Shinra’s door, but Shizuo blocked it by stepping in front of it. The knife in Izaya’s pocket grew heavy. “Is something wrong?”

Shizuo didn’t respond right away. He spent a few seconds just staring down at Izaya, making the other’s fingers twitched for the knife handle. “You’ve been acting really weird,” he declared strongly. “Did something happen yesterday after Celty and I dropped you off? Did those kidnappers come back for you?” The second question had more urgency in the tone.

_Kidnappers?_ Izaya remembered there was a mention of those local thugs who kidnapped a group of girls in the Dollars mail chain. However, Shizuo dealt with them swiftly so it wasn’t possible that they would target Izaya considering their rumored dynamic. Beside that, Izaya knew the real reason for his behavior. “I’m fine. I’ve just been not getting enough sleep lately.”

“Because of _work_?” Shizuo spat condescendingly. Izaya furrowed his eyes, wondering why the malice tone arose again. If he agreed with what Shizuo said, it sounded like both the right and wrong answer to give.

However, Izaya wasn’t going to back down. “Is that a problem?” He took the step forward, closing the distance between them as they stood toe-to-toe and their heads a foot apart. Shizuo didn’t budge. The heavy weight of the air felt familiar. Their intense staredown was something more natural to Izaya. He expected their hands to start swinging as soon as the nail dropped. His fingers were buzzing with the knife.

He swiftly pulled out his hand - the free one. He wanted Shizuo to twitch a muscle, but the other simply eyed at it. It was a disappointing reaction compared to their past encounters. With the free hand and a sigh, Izaya reached over and rang the doorbell. He sidestepped to face the door. “You know you’re the one acting weird, Shizu-chan. Have you always gotten mad at me like this?” 

Shizuo pulled back, also facing the door and frowning at Izaya’s sarcastic tone. “It’s nothing new.” 

“Have you always been this worried about me?” He meant it as a joke, but also as his way of subtly gathering information like this. “It’s concerning and a bit much, don’t you think?” 

“It’s nothing-” Shizuo paused and then stared into an empty space. Izaya turned, thinking how weird it was for the other to stop abruptly. Shizuo furrowed his brows and placed a finger to his chin, clearly lost in thought. It was equally frustrating for Izaya too since he couldn’t tell what Shizuo must be thinking about. _I didn’t think this question would be so hard to answer,_ Izaya thought.

The door opened, causing both of them to shift to their bubbling friend. “Yay! You both made it! Come in! We were just about done.” 

Shinra led them to the kitchen table as Celty finished setting the plates down. Along the way, Shizuo and Izaya made a brief eye contact before Shizuo quickly whipped his head away. Walking in with silence, Izaya guessed they were dropping their previous conversation for now.

In the middle of the table was a pot on top of a portable stove with several different plates of food circled around it. _Hot pot at this time of year?_ Izaya took his seat at the table, the one closest to the door, as Shizuo plopped right next to him. On the other side of the table, Celty and Shinra sat lovingly next to each other with Shinra facing Izaya and Celty to Shizuo. Izaya never thought he would see this image of all four of them peacefully having dinner together. The only times he could remember all of them in this room was back in high school after Izaya and Shizuo coincidentally came to Shinra to patch up their injuries and Celty needed to calm Shizuo down before the room became a mess. Even now, Izaya was expecting Shizuo to pick up the table and throw it at him. He was ready to jump back from his chair at any moment. 

Shinra placed a steel cup in front of Shizuo while Izaya got a glass one. _Same cup from yesterday?_ He shook his head before he took a sip. _Not yesterday… more than half a year ago._ The realization was still unsettling. Izaya tried to take his mind off by noticing that he and Shizuo got two different guest cups. Meanwhile, Celty was placing most of the ingredients inside the bubbling pot. The aroma smelled enticing. The food was changing into an appetizing color. 

Shinra took a big whiff. “This looks and smells delicious! Did you know Celty prepared everything? She is amazing!”

**[Well, I can’t take all of the credit. I have to thank Izaya for giving me some pointers.]**

Izaya stopped in the middle of inching his chopsticks toward the pot. The flash of his name made him double back to her PDA. He couldn’t believe his eyes at what he was reading. 

Meanwhile, Shizuo went ahead and dove into the pot first. He stirred the content around until he picked up a piece of food, blew on it, and ate it with no hesitation. “Ah, this definitely tastes like how Izaya makes his. It’s really good, Celty.” 

Now Izaya couldn’t believe his ears. He eyed Shizuo who was too busy filling his bowl with a mountain of food. Celty thanked him for his appraisal. Seeing as how she was the only one who couldn’t eat, she was patiently waiting for Izaya’s opinion. He picked up a few items, eating slowly and carefully. The broth tasted similar to his cooking. The problem was that he didn’t like that Shizuo was right and he could only be right in one possible way. _Shizu-chan has eaten my cooking before?_

**[How is it?]** The fact that Izaya hadn’t said anything made her nervous. She didn’t know that his hesitation wasn’t about her cooking.

“It’s good.” Izaya wiped his mouth with a napkin. “You’ve outdone yourself, Celty.” 

She seemed relieved by the way her shoulders relaxed. Judging her reaction, it was the right thing to say considering Izaya never ate her cooking before. And then, he noticed his bowl was getting filled by a second pair of chopsticks. Shizuo kept piling food without his permission, aiming to create a second mountain.

“You’d better eat a lot. You’re still too skinny,” he said too casually. Izaya was about to protest until Shizuo interrupted again in a sarcastic tone. “You won’t gain a lot of weight on the scale from eating tonight’s dinner. Don’t worry.” 

Izaya almost knocked over his glass cup. It was an oddly specific information. He wasn’t sure if Shizuo actually knew that he weighed himself after his daily baths. Although Shizuo looked back at him with a raised brow, Izaya continued to eat. His cup turned cold. 

**[How was work, Shizuo?]**

Shizuo thankfully turned his attention away. “It was fine today. I gained a junior at work. Other than that, I didn’t need to chase anyone down this time.”

Shinra chuckled. “Even if they did, they can’t escape the Fighting Team of Ikebukuro.”

“Shut up,” said Shizuo. Izaya also felt annoyed but for different reasons. Deep down inside, he was hoping that part of his research wasn’t true. 

**[What about you, Izaya? You said you’ve been busy with work for a while.]**

Izaya was thrown off by the question that he didn’t notice how Shizuo’s munching slowed down. That was the second time he had been told that. If his own self had claimed that, he shouldn’t contradict himself. “Yes, you’re right. I’ve been on business trips. I had a few errands that required me to be out of town. That’s why.” He smoothly covered his mouth, like his excuses, with his napkin. It was true according to the files on his computer. He noticed from the corner of his eyes how Shizuo remained awfully quiet while turning his head away and taking a drink. Izaya shrugged with a smug expression. “In fact, I may have another assignment to look into.” 

Apparently, he said the wrong thing again. Shizuo suddenly slammed his drink down with a trembling fist. Half of the beverage splashed on the table, drenching his nearby napkin. The cup was horribly indented with the outline of his hand. It reminded Izaya of the door knob back at his apartment. “Damn it, Izaya,” Shizuo yelled. 

Quickly, Izaya’s hands braced the back of his chair and reached for the knife in his pocket. The muscles in his legs tightened, nearly ready to jump back. His own cup flinched, almost about to be knocked over. He thought that Shizuo finally snapped; it was just an elaborate prank by everyone and Shizuo couldn’t handle the facade nor Izaya’s presence anymore. He was prepared to hold his ground for as long as he could before he could make a break for the exit. Shizuo went on with his repetitive mumbling, an indication of him losing more of his temper. 

“Work, work, work... You always have work! When are you never busy or don’t have any?! I barely get to see you in Ikebukuro anymore!” It was a declaration that was unsettling to his ears. Out of all times Shizuo had been telling him to get out of the city, Izaya never thought he would hear the day Shizuo wanted to see him in Ikebukuro. 

**[Shizuo, let’s calm down...]** Celty was waving her hands, gesturing for Shizuo to simmer down.

“Well, there goes another cup…” Shinra mumbled, feignedly pitying at the one that will join the rest of its crushed brethrens in the sink. He reached with his napkin to wipe up the spilled liquid. “Let’s not fight. You're making Celty worried!” Izaya noted how Shinra was more concerned about Celty than his well being. “We should be happy that Izaya’s with us now. Since he missed out on our last hot pot party, this is a nice way to make up for it. Now, let's continue to enjoy Celty’s delicious cooking!” 

_Is that the reason why we’re eating it?_ He wasn’t sure if this was the exact reason, but he wouldn’t be surprised anymore. 

“Sorry,” Shizuo said sincerely. All of his tense posture disappeared instantly. He resumed eating out of his bowl in a sulking manner. 

Although the air was silent, the tension was still lingering. The temperature dropped a few degrees below. The air conditioning had sprang back alive to do its job of filling the silence. Izaya had a difficult time getting his muscles to relax again. His body kept leaning over to the side that had the knife in his pocket. He still believed that the iron was hot, ready to strike. Grabbing his cup that grew severely cold, he tried to sip nonchalantly. 

Shinra threw a quick glance at everyone’s body language. Shizuo was gripping his chopsticks too tightly. Izaya hadn’t touched his bowl again nor turned his body away from Shizuo. And more importantly, Celty had her helmet angled slightly downward and her shoulders slumped forward. 

Shinra sighed, “if you’re that concerned, why not take Izaya on a vacation trip?” 

All of their heads perked up. Izaya scoffed while Shizuo hummed. Celty placed a hand on her chest.

“Vacation, huh... ” Shizuo said.

“I don't need a vacation,” said Izaya, “I’m fine.” 

“You're gonna overwork yourself to death,” Shizuo retorted. 

Shinra nodded. “Yeah, there's nothing wrong with taking some relaxation time. There are a lot of exciting places to see. For example, me and Celty went to a beautiful, romantic spot! We took a nice horseback carriage ride through a jungle.” It was at this point that Izaya began to tune out Shinra’s ramble. Pretty soon, Celty would be self-conscious and stopped Shinra with some kind of force. 

Instead Izaya watched as a trail of soup ran down from the corner of Shizuo’s lips. It wasn’t the same color as blood like their one fight still fresh in his mind. The soup was more of an orange tint, but similarly dripped down. Shizuo hadn’t noticed as he surprisingly looked invested in the conversation, continuously munching more food into his mouth. _Are you a kid?_ Izaya shook his head at how much it shouldn’t surprise him that Shizuo couldn’t figure it out when to wipe himself. It reminded him of all the times Mairu used to messily eat at the dinner table when she was a kid. It was a memory that felt like it happened yesterday. Being so reminiscent about the past and their soccer fight, Izaya grabbed his napkin and then stopped himself. He was about to wipe Shizuo’s mouth again. Upon realizing the weird urge, he released his napkin that formed a scrunch of wrinkles. _I must have a headache…_

He grabbed his drink and took a sip again. The glass cup staring at him had no cracks, but the reflection still felt distorted.   
  
  
  
  
  
After dinner was over, Izaya decided to leave first but Shizuo also followed after. Both of them said their goodbyes and left the apartment, hopping into the elevator ride together. Izaya wasn’t claustrophobic, but the cramped space was suffocating. It felt hard to breathe in, afraid that any sound he made would pluck Shizuo’s last standing nerve. It was already surprising to him that they could be in the same space together for this long and everything was still intact. 

After a few painstaking seconds later, Shizuo spoke up first. “Sorry for snapping at you.” His tone buzzed in Izaya ears. He never thought he would ever hear that from Shizuo. “I still think the vacation is a good idea.” 

Izaya rolled his eyes. “I don’t want to go on vacation. I said I’m fine.”

“You need one. It doesn’t matter if you want it or not.” 

Izaya scoffed at the disbelief that he doesn’t get a say in this even though it mainly concerned him. “Going on vacation or even planning it takes a lot of effort. That feels like more work for me than my actual work. Besides, there's nowhere I rather be than Ikebukuro.” 

Shizuo groaned. “Then I’ll plan it! I have to take you anyway.” 

“Doesn’t Shizu-chan have work?”

“I‘ll ask Tom-san. He’ll understand.” The elevator finally stopped on the lobby floor. Once they got out, Izaya breathed in fresh air. The refreshing feeling only lasted when Shizuo continued to speak. “I’ll take you on a vacation after you’re done with your new assignment. You’d better not accept another offer.” 

Izaya frowned. No matter how sincere Shizuo’s intentions were meant to be, Izaya felt like his life was being threatened by the tone of his voice. “No promises,” he challenged.

Shizuo growled, “I mean it.” They both walked out of the complex’s entrance. “Are you taking a cab or the train?”

“Train.”

A nice walk in the open streets was something Izaya needed. He wanted to enjoy his surroundings like the last time he came over at Shinra’s apartment. But after walking a couple of feet, he regretted his decision on not taking a cab. Shizuo began to follow closely behind him. As if the cramp elevator ride wasn’t enough to make him uncomfortable, it felt worse walking together with plenty of open space. Even still, Izaya expected something to snap and he would be threatened with a heavy object thrown at him. He preferred that way too.

“Why aren’t you heading home?” Izaya knew this wasn’t the direction to Shizuo’s apartment. 

“I’m still worried about yesterday,” Shizuo said. His walking pace was catching up to Izaya. “You still seem a little weirder.” 

Izaya slightly scoffed. He was doing his best to maintain some distance so it didn’t look like they were walking together. “Speak for yourself. I’m fine walking by myself, Shizu-chan. You must be tired hearing Shinra talk all night.” 

“It's nothing new. I’m used to it,” Shizuo said begrudgingly. Izaya could hear the sourness behind the tone as if Shizuo had a story to tell but refused to share it. He could guess that Shizuo would become more angry just by thinking about it. “Just be grateful I’m letting you walk instead of having Celty dropped us off like last time.” Shizuo caught up with ease. He surprised Izaya when he showed up right next to him with an expression that held so much concern. “Are you sure this has nothing to do with those kidnappers?”

“Yes.” Izaya whipped his head away, walking quicker. “Whatever you seem worried about, I can defend myself perfectly fine, Shizu-chan. You should know that being on the receiving end most of time.”

Shizuo’s pace slowed down. “Huh? What are you talking about? We never fought before. At least physically.” 

Izaya halted abruptly and suspiciously. Not only did the information shock him so much that he stopped walking, he cursed himself for slipping up carelessly. He didn’t hear Shizuo’s footsteps following up, so the other must have stopped too. Izaya spun around, trying to casually play it off. “Haven't you seen me defend myself before? Do you think I'm not capable on my own?” 

Shizuo gawked. “No, that's not what I meant!”

Izaya held back his smile. “Are you saying I’m terrible at it then?”

“No,” Shizuo yelled. As Izaya gave a feigned look of disbelief, Shizuo groaned. “I know you can defend yourself with your knife and your reflexes are annoying.” Izaya wondered if that was meant to be a good compliment or a bad one, or even a compliment at all. “And you can run very fast and have a lot of stamina, but I meant-” 

A fun idea popped into Izaya’s head. “Well then, why don't we test it out?” Shizuo was rightfully surprised. “I’ll run away from Shizu-chan, pretending he's a bad guy, to prove that I can survive on my own! Ready...?” 

“Wait, what?” It was comical the way Shizuo’s shades fell down on the bridge of his nose. Izaya was sure that if Shizuo was smoking, his cigarette would have flown out of his mouth. “No! Izaya, I’m not-” 

“...Set...!” Izaya took a step back. A jolt was running through his body. 

“Izaya!” Shizuo stepped forward with his fist clenched. Izaya’s smirk grew excitedly wide. “I’m not agreeing to this-” 

“...Go!”   
  
  
  
  
  
**[Did Izaya seem off to you? He was a little weird… Weirder than normal.]**

“Yeah I noticed,” Shinra said casually as he picked up the guest cups. He tossed aside the crushed steel one with the others and filled the glass cup with water. The content overfilled the mug, overwhelming it to the brim. It tipped over but Shinra straightened it out. He wasn’t worried about it anyways, since he knew it wouldn’t break easily.

**[From the phone call this morning? Shinra, you need to tell me what’s going on.]**

Drying his hands with a towel, Shinra sighed. “I think he’s experiencing retrograde amnesia or, in easy terms, memory loss. He doesn’t remember his past.” 

**[What?!]** Celty extended her arm out with the PDA. **[Are you sure?!]** She had no reason to doubt Shinra, but it was an abrupt fact to learn. **[B,But he seem fine, not completely, but n,not like this!]** She had to calm down a little for her typing. **[What does he remember? Does he know who he is?]**

“Yeah, I think he does.” The glass cup tipped over again. Shinra placed it on a drying towel. “I think he doesn’t remember much all the way to high school.”

**[High school?! That long?! How does he remember us? He talked to us so casually like he knew us though!]**

Shinra nodded. “I think it’s similar to when you lost your head. He has an idea of who we are, but he doesn’t have any past memories with us.” He looked back at the crushed cups in the sink. “Especially Shizuo. During the phone call, Izaya kept asking me about him the most.” He went back to the dining table and sat next to Celty. He explained to her about his observations on Izaya during dinner and over the phone. Amnesia was the likely conclusion he had drawn. He did take into account the lack of sleep too. Of course, it was difficult to completely diagnose it as amnesia until Izaya did some tests first which Shinra doubted the other would agree to if he was appalled by the idea of a vacation. 

**[What could cause amnesia? I know my case is special, but what about for humans?]**

“Lots of things. Head trauma, illness, drugs, also lack of sleep.” Shinra saw the way Celty lowered her helmet like she was staring into space, lost in thought. “Did he seem normal yesterday?”

**[Kind of. Still a bit suspiciously weird, but then again Shizuo was too.]** Celty pondered, _Did the amnesia happened because of yesterday?_ She couldn't recall if she saw Izaya had gotten hurt. If he did, Shizuo would immediately notice. The thought of Shizuo pained her, because it would be sad for him to know about this. **[How do you feel about this?]**

“I feel fine,” Shinra shrugged. “However, if Celty was the one who forget about our time and love together-”

She covered his mouth with her hand. She knew he was going off on his tangents again, but she was also afraid of that scenario happening if she got her head back. She would hate to forget about her relationships with the people she cared about. She might have felt more hurt than Shinra would. Her shoulders slumped down. **[I feel bad for Shizuo.]**

Shinra muffled through her hand and she let it go with an apology. “Are you going to tell him?” 

Celty knew with the way Shizuo acted, this news would be devastating to him. However, it was cruel to keep him in the dark. He would have caught on eventually. **[He has to know, right? I doubt Izaya is going to tell him honestly.]**

Shinra agreed with a pout. “Again, this is just speculation on my part. I could be wrong and Shizuo will come for me if I am. Will you protect me in case that happens, Celty?”

**[Of course.]** Her shoulders jiggled a bit, signifying a chuckle. **[I’m just hoping this might make Izaya open up to what** **_is_ ** **wrong with him.]**

“It’s so many things and we’ll never understand,” Shinra laughed as he held her hand. Celty felt bad for agreeing too.  
  
  
  
  
  
Meanwhile, Izaya spun on his heel and dashed away before Shizuo had anything more to say. Sprinting far away, he could hear the distant calls from the other. He didn’t care if Shizuo didn’t follow him.

There were a number of reasons why Izaya proposed this silly challenge. The look on Shizuo’s face was rewarding. It was also to distract his Freudian slip earlier and avoid more questioning. In addition, he didn’t like this peaceful nature of their dynamic. They were meant to be fighting one another, chasing after each other. Their chaotic nature was more entertaining. There was no way he could truly get along with a monster. Everything boiled down to him cowardly wanting to be away from Shizuo.

Just when he thought he could slow down and stopped running, he heard stomping footsteps from behind. Glancing over his shoulders, he beamed at the familiar and satisfying sight. Gunning after him, hot on his trails, was the beast. Shizuo’s skin was red, his hair was tousled messily, every muscle in his face was scrunched together, and his voice roared Izaya’s name. The peaceful streets of Ikebukuro violently flinched. Every human head turned at the shocking image; some even reflexively backed away. The more buildings Izaya ran passed, the more he started to recognize his own image through the reflexive surfaces. The streetlights and camera phone flashes illuminated brighter than the stars in the sky. The moon was a silver spotlight shining down on them. Although no street signs nor vending machines were thrown, they still made an everlasting ruckus. All Izaya could do was laugh and continue to run. The joy was filling in his chest and the thrills were amplifying his body. It wasn’t their usual chase, but it was close enough. What made it more satisfying was that he knew Shizuo wasn’t playing along. If Izaya got caught, he would have to explain himself once more and he would have been good as dead. The rules of the game have changed and yet they still played the same.

Speaking of games, that puzzle board game was still back in his apartment. 

Izaya made a beeline into the station, passing through the terminals, and making way through the crowd. Shizuo was lagging behind, getting blocked by the obstacles he wasn’t prepared for. Although he had chased Izaya almost throughout the city, he wasn’t blinded by rage. His conscience was still intact that he remembered common decency to not cause trouble in the train station. 

The announcement to board the Shinjuku destination echoed. Izaya made it just in time as the train zoomed through the tunnels and made a complete stop. Large crowds intermingled with each other. Izaya was approaching the steps before someone yelled his name at a distance. He turned and saw Shizuo, huffing slightly. His bow tie was loosened a bit that made his collar flared out more. Izaya walked backwards and waved goodbye with a devious and victorious smile. Shizuo was too far away to catch him. By the time Izaya would set foot on the train, it would be too late. Knowing this, Shizuo still jogged towards the platform. Izaya was lucky the train wasn’t overcrowded. He stood near the exit and watched as Shizuo helplessly stayed behind. As the announcement warned the passengers, Shizuo cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled at Izaya. 

“Don't forget about what I said, you flea bastard! I mean it!” 

Ironically, Izaya wished he stayed behind for a little bit to know what Shizuo meant. For now, he would settle on finishing what he had started. The doors closed in front of him, sealing his chances to escape. On the other side, Shizuo leisurely made his way out of the train station. It had been an interesting day for him, and his evening proved to be weirder. Overall, the run was actually stimulating for him. It felt like a good exercise. He didn’t have to do anything during the day since his junior took care of the clients, so it left Shizuo in a rut on how to release his anger. Although he was grateful for Izaya, he still couldn’t help but contemplate how weird Izaya’s behavior was. What was more peculiar was when he started to reflect on himself. 

_“Have you always been this worried about me?”_

Shizuo realized he hadn’t before to this certain extent. He was always worried about Izaya, but he wondered why it was more intense than usual. When he made it outside of the train station, he stared intently at the moon.

On the other hand, Izaya stared at the windows of the moving train. He stood near the door by choice. There were plenty of open seats, but Izaya preferred to be where he was at. Every human looked busy. The train made them sway. They kept to themselves, lost in their own reality. Meanwhile, Izaya still had a hard time accepting his own. Not long ago, he too was easily swayed by the motions and now it landed him in a place he didn’t recognize. He wondered what would happen if he did the same thing tonight - to think about the past, experience a different “dream” route, and wake up to a different reality. _What a weird ability,_ he thought. He still didn’t have all of the information, but he knew he needed more time. He would figure it out eventually and control the game pieces. _I’ll finally destroy Shizu-chan. I’ll figure out his weakness._ When he went to touch his knife, he pulled out his phone instead to check the time and the date on the screen flashed in his eyes. 

_[May 5th]_

Izaya bumped his head back against the sturdy glass of the door. He didn’t care if it made his headache worse. He shut off his phone and saw his own reflection through the black screen. Turning away to watch the moving scenery, he made eye contact with it again on the window. Even though they were the same face, Izaya felt like he was looking at a stranger. Even he couldn’t read his own expression. By that point, he knew deep down inside that he wasn’t fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for not updating. I swear I’m not giving up on this. I recently took on a leadership role at an internship and it’s been stressing me out with long nights of work. I hope this long chapter makes up for it.
> 
> *"Fighting Team" was inspired by that one Drrr event where Izaya and Shizuo's voice actors were in one team and were dubbed "Fighting Team".


End file.
